Ocd around gender and sexuality.

I had/have a porn addiction for a long time i blamed my pork addiction on my gender ocd questioning. Am i trans? Can i be this? Is this possible im not a man? I was just wandering if anyone else ever had gender or sexuality ocd issues and how it turned out. Sexuality went away when i accepted i was bi.(there was also other signs there). Gender is different. Just want to hear peoples experiences or opinions thats all! Hope everyone is doing well.

liegeofnerd

Date posted: 12h

You might be trans. You might not be trans. I have to keep repeating this to myself as someone who also suffers from Gender OCD. Sometimes I feel trans. Sometimes I don't. But that's kind of what they are; just feelings. No one feeling gets to dictate your entire identity. That being said, it's easier said than done to internalize that. OCD doesn't care what consensus you come to, there'll always be one stone left unturned. That's why ERP helps.

Anonymous

Date posted: 11h

@kavgon thank you so much so true, 0 gender issues precovid lol then got a little to deep into porn and rattled my cage. Ocd doesn't like uncertainty and new uncomfortable feelings

liegeofnerd

Date posted: 6h

@Anonymous - Haha yeah, strong imagery that gets to our circuits will do that to ya. As people with OCD we're especially susceptible to that. I hope you're able to come to peace with yourself at some point. Or maybe it's gonna be a chronic thing, I'm prepared for that possibility too.

Just Maja

Date posted: 11h

I also have sexuality ocd and gender ocd :) . In my case with SOOCD my intrusive thoughts started to doubt if I'm really pansexual, intrusive thoughts tried to tell me "I'm jest hetero and i pretend" then "I'm aromantic" etc. - i still have intrusive thoughts and doubts about my sexuality but now i deal with it better, even with doubt and uncertainty, i still call myself pansexual but in the same time i try to remember it's nothing wrong if in future I'm gonna find out I'm other sexuality. :) With gender ocd i have fear that "I'm trans in denial", Gender OCD for me is more hard to deal with it, i feel a lot anxiety and fear, my ocd tries to look for every proof that I'm just trans in denial (from "valid proof" to the most silly one like for example "You like a lot male characters so that means you are trans man"). In the end it's nothing wrong if i turn out to be trans, it's more about fear that I'm just lying to myself that i feel comfortable as a cis woman. (because i think i like being seen a woman but my intrusive thoughts says I'm lying to myself ). To answer your question - everything is possible. You can be trans or not. What i recommend is to not compare your experience with other people too much and give yourself time to figure out what gender Identity suits you the best. With intrusive thoughts it can be a lot harder and it can take longer time but you don't need to figure it out today or tomorrow 🫶 No matter if you are trans or not you are a valuable person I wish you a lot of strength 💐

Anonymous

Date posted: 11h

@Just Maja thank you so much ❤️. I think was happened is some adult movies turned over some rocks and some feelings were hiding under there i didnt know existed lol Then ocd tool over! "whats this!? O no!!!! Am i trans? What if it ruins my life?". lol. Classic ocd

liegeofnerd

Date posted: 6h

I also have sexuality and gender OCD! Very similar SO-OCD thoughts to yours (I'm also a bi/pan person), but my Gender OCD is flipped and my brain tells me I'm cis in denial haha.

Just Maja

Date posted: 2h

@liegeofnerd omg, i love the fact our Gender OCD are the same but also very different, our intrusive thoughts are kinda like jing jang haha :D I'm sending you a lot strength too 🫶💐

strongsurvivor

Date posted: 9h

Gender is more difficult to figure out than sexuality. Unfortunately OCD grasps onto that. You'll figure out who you are in time, just work on your ERP.

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