compulsions

my ex and i just broke up two weeks ago and for the life of me i can’t stop checking his social media for any updates on his life or hints to if he’s thinking about me. he told me after we broke up that he was gonna block me on socials because he thinks that’s gonna be the best path forward for both of us. he’s right, but i still have other accounts that i can see him from. i have tried blocking him myself, doesn’t work. i have a sober app to help myself, doesnt work. i feel so guilty and pathetic and terrible for checking so much. my ocd tells me what if he’s met someone new or what if you don’t check and you missed seeing something important that will make u feel better or something that will tell you something. i’m so upset with myself and can’t seem to stop. i just miss him so much.

username0192...

Date posted: 20h

Hi I am so sorry you are going through this. First of all, please be kind to yourself. You’re going through something that is extremely emotionally heavy. You don’t have to stop checking all at once and it’s OK for you to make mistakes, that does not make you terrible or pathetic. It’s incredibly relatable (I know this is a bit of reassurance but I think that is warranted here). I am struggling with something similar. I love someone very much but we aren’t talking right now. I keep checking her spotify to see what songs she is listening to and trying to analyze the lyrics to see if she is thinking about me. It also makes me feel really poorly after doing it but it’s really hard for me not to because I feel so disconnected from her. What has helped me is setting small milestones for not checking, and delaying as much as I can when I have the urge. you can start small—tell yourself you won’t check for 1 hour. Do something fun and relaxing to distract yourself—go for a walk, get some fun food, watch a movie. You’ve already beaten the first hour. Each time try to set a new milestone. 2 hours, 4 hours, 8 hours, a day… the more you do it the easier it will become. And soon you will start to realize, I was okay without checking for x amount of time, so I think i’ll be okay if I continue not to check. Also, at the very worst moments when you feel like you need to check—identify those moments and tell yourself these are exactly the moments when I don’t need to check. Use ocd against itself—when it comes off too strongly you can identify it more easily and be more comfortable to fight against it. Again I am so sorry you are going through this and I am here to talk more if you want. You got this ❤️

Amy B.

Date posted: 17h

Sorry, this sounds terribly hard 💔

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Date posted: Yesterday

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Nancy122

Date posted: 12h

I have been doing this on my bfs ex our entire relationship. I have been in therapy but I just don’t know if I am willing to work on stuff if he continues to make no changes and become more transparent. Or is it my OCD? I know she’s been by his house, or I sense it or am suspicious of it bc I said do you remember that we promised if she contacted anyone you would make me aware and he said “well what if I’m not aware” and a fight ensued. This is my dilemma.

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