Is there a theme related to obsessing about having children?

Asking as this is something I've been struggling with a lot lately, but I haven't really come across anyone else with this issue. For context I'm 31 and my husband is 34. I've only come to the realization that I want kids somewhat recently; my husband also wants them but is hesitant about taking the next step, but has agreed to a TTC timeline of spring 2027. While I already have a concrete answer and logically know 6 months isn't that long, my mind cannot seem to let go of the topic and I'm having a very hard time waiting. I'm sure there's some degree of biological clock element, and I also feel embarrassed constantly due to being older. Then I'm struggling with almost feeling like anything else I do in the meantime is meaningless because there's this much larger objective that I can't actively pursue it at the moment. My husband's aware of what I'm dealing with but at the end of the day is not ready and I know I need to respect that. I'm in therapy now, ironically part of what prompted me to go was my struggle with emetophobia (fear of vomiting), to which lead to an OCD diagnosis. I feel like my phobia has drastically reduced (but still exists) and it's almost like I feel like I need to make this happen sooner rather while my phobia "allows" me to, for lack of better term. My biggest themes are contamination and existential (especially related to age, which I know is at play here), as well as some relationship themes. I'm also autistic and have ADHD and GAD.

Over the thi...

Date posted: Yesterday

I have not experienced this personally. But this sounds very similar to experiences that a friend living with ocd recently shared with me. They are hoping to start a family in the next year. They are having a hard time not thinking about it constantly and are also struggling with finding meaning in other thoughts and activities right now. I really felt like I was reading my friends words when I hit this post

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Oh I think I had that going on some too. Definitely an element of FOMO and feeling like i was old, less than, a loser, etc. I was older than you are, and it took a little over a year to conceive for the first time…which caused me tons of anxiety and obsessional thoughts too. I would suggest using your time to work on exposures and research natural contraception/ovulation patterns (I would NOT suggest starting ovulation testing until spring). Just note down the 1st day of each your cycle. Meet with your OB for a preconception visit, get your self eating healthy, being active, and get started on the right supplements. Research your benefits and see if you want to make changes for the next year while you still can. And most importantly…KEEP WORKING with your ERP therapist on these themes. I would also ask about doing exposures to topics such miscarriages, genetics, etc. so you are very mentally prepared for anything when you both begin. I do also think it’s imperative to meet with your OB ahead of time if you are on psych medications too. It will be a good thingto have yourself best mentally (and physically) prepared. Some people conceive in the first try, so good to make sure you’re ready to go before you begin. Good luck to you!!! 💞

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