Rumination

All that my boifriend said was that their husband told them that he doesn't want to feel like he's dating me or something similar to that. It bothered me a lot because I've only seen their husband like two or three times and we've never really talked just like small observational jokes when we were walking past bars. But I also understand it's an ego thing on my end and that I don't know the whole context. I also understand the husband struggles with communicating so when he does, I wouldnt be surprised if it sounds harsher than what he means. Overall it just doesn't feel like something I should have been told, but because of the nature of it I don't feel like I'm really allowed to be upset by it. I just am.

@Anonymous They've also been together for 10 years and I've only been dating the boif for almost two months, so of course there are going to be boundary convos. But this didn't necessarily seem like one I had to hear. My boif has only recently come out as poly so it's like I'm the guinea pig.... And I have OCD....yay...

@Anonymous Also, whenever you find yourself overthinking, find ways to distract yourself or talk to your partner :) hope this helps

@slocumallison Thank you. Yeah I've been trying to and it's almost moreso like I'm ruminating about ruminating atp 😭😭😭😭

Yeah it's definitely not an attack towards me. When I say I'm a guinea pig I moreso mean that I'm essentially patient zero when it comes to exploring what boundaries each person has in regards to a poly relationship. I've never been poly and I don't consider myself poly, maybe nonmonogous? But I don't really try to label my sexuality and I'm usually almost never interested in anyone. But being queer I've been around a lot of poly and nonmonogous couples and learning what I think makes a healthy relationship, especially for poly/nonmonog I think building a foundation is extremely important and usually I think the foundation should be solid before adding another person. Its not that their foundation isn't solid but.... I dunno. I think maybe my brain is stuck on it because of the lack of context, but I know if I had more context I would just ruminate more and worse I've already told my boif and we talked very quickly about it a little. But it's still just eating at my brain for some reason. Not even necessarily coherent thoughts its just sitting there. I don't know why.

@Anonymous It’s okay and sitting with the uncomfortableness of these thoughts is the best you can do in this situation. I ruminate all the time, as well. It happens but it doesn’t always mean you’re in danger or that you’re missing something or that something is wrong. Try to question these thoughts and battle them. Write them down if it helps :)

@slocumallison Yeah I guess sometimes I have to just let it pass. Thanks.

How do I block this water polluter