My girlfriend screams at me

We have some problems. I used to have pretty severe jealousy issues. I am currently in therapy because of this, as I want to change in this regard, and I have already made some progress. It is not completely gone, but I handle it much better now and am working through my childhood issues. Now, about her: Even though I really have improved and these situations happen much less frequently now, she still reacts very defensively to situations like this and immediately gets angry. It goes so far that it ends in a huge argument every time, during which I get yelled at. She says she really doesn’t want to treat me this way, but it still happens. Apparently, it is also not okay for me to disagree with her, because I am expected to immediately believe what she says, which she is of course right about. Another issue is that she constantly feels criticized by me. According to her, I either accuse her of something, which I never do intentionally, or I ask a question that is meant as a question rather than an accusation. She also reacts very defensively to that quite quickly, or when I tell her that I would have preferred one thing over another. Apparently, this happens quite often, which is something else I need to work on, because the last thing I want is to criticize her in any way or make her feel as though she is not good enough for me, because that is not the case at all. As already mentioned, I am in therapy and am working on the issues I bring into the relationship in order to take some of the burden off my girlfriend, and of course, I am also doing it for myself. Now, about her part. Her frustration may be justified, but I still find it quite questionable that she loses her temper, yells at me, throws things, or destroys things every time. She says she doesn’t react this way intentionally, which I also believe, but I think that as an adult, you should be able to control yourself. I know that it is my fault because she was never someone who raised her voice at anyone before. Well, maybe I deserve it. During arguments, I often feel as though she sees me as her enemy, especially since I really am not a person who has malicious intentions or someone with whom it is impossible to have a calm, constructive conversation. Couples therapy is out of the question according to her, because she believes relationship problems should not be shared with third parties. I hope I can get my problems under control enough so that she no longer reacts so defensively. I just needed to get this off my chest because I am not feeling very well emotionally.