siblings

I have a sister who is 4 years younger then I am, she has been very emotionally stable growing up and I have been quite volatile . I believe my sister thinks I have wronged her intentionally and she would bet her life on this. I really didn’t mean to offend her emotionally and I was a kid just like her in distress. However, I cannot continue living with her swearing I was mean on purpose in the past. I can’t blame her for lack of consideration because she truly does not understand. I took responsibility for my mental health at 14 but I felt I was so far gone it would take a decade. Now that it has been about a decade I feel more emotionally stable but my next step is this. ¿What should I do? How can I write an apology which is honest to both I and her? How can I write an apology which I will be satisfied with even if she does not accept it?

VVbee

Date posted: 16h

I'm at the pretty much same age gap with me and my own sibling (I'm the younger one) and I've been on both sides of your guy's opinions. From age 8-14, I was really lost with my mental struggles as well as no one was really aware,, even to this day it's still quite hidden. I've always been in a safe family environment, so with how severe it was, no one really understood and especially for a kid my age. Nothing was really done because of it and I had to really deal with it myself. + many times they would unintentionally poke at my attitude as well as say things that just fueled my issues and upset mindset. I use to blame everyone for that, for not helping me out and due to my later environments with involvement of other people I turned really mean.. even when I was younger I had a regretful attitude but in my teen years I used to lash out on my family a lot and such, I feel really bad to this day. Currently now, even showing an OUNCE of irritation makes me panic afterwards. Overall I still took accountability to my older sister and today we are realllyyy close, I also assured her that she was a kid too back then and she wasn't responsible for my mental health. : ) As well as my family as a whole, I haven't lashed out on them the way I used to do in a long time. You were a kid..! Not a therapist or an adult so I don't think apologizing is something you need to do. But if you want to that's not a bad idea..! I'm not sure how you'd want to do it, nontheless you should still keep in mind that you shouldn't beat yourself over the way you acted in the past. (It's really hard since I'm telling myself that as well, I struggle a lot with letting things go obviously.)

andresisaacp...

Date posted: 16h

@VVbee Yes she’s very strong she’s not naïve but in this case i feel she’s being very strong on something that’s not true but i know talking it out won’t work we both know our stratégies so well. We are like the same person when we aren’t together and when we are in the same vicinity the tensión is far too high for me to have a calm mind because idk i feel so many things have been left unsaid.

VVbee

Date posted: 15h

@andresisaacpereyra I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding it, correct me if wrong but do you mean that she's assuming or believing that you did/been something that isn't true? Or just in a general the full truth may be left unclear and stuff like that. I mostly spoke on my own experiences, so I'm aware that we'd have different situations but I'd still want to try and help. : ) Otherwise, what you said is understandable and I'm still sorry you're kind of in a sticky situation at this current moment

andresisaacp...

Date posted: 13h

@VVbee yes just alot of conflicto, misinterpretations but never that talk after apologizing and trying to understand eachother. I believe that’s what normal people do, I don’t know why my sister and I have never had these talks. Perhaps I should have taken the lead I am the older sibling. However, if this doesn’t get resolved I just know that with my partner i’d like to do differently.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond