Long post: OCD and my parents..

Hey everyone, I wanted to talk about something I've been struggling with lately, and I'd really appreciate some advice. Ever since my OCD started getting worse, I've noticed that I've been increasingly avoiding spending time around my parents. I don't entirely understand why, but I constantly feel judged or fear that I'll be laughed at or made fun of. My relationship with my parents has always been a little complicated, even since childhood. My parents, especially my dad, are very humorous and love making jokes. I know they genuinely don't mean any harm, but ever since entering my teenage years and developing OCD, I've become extremely sensitive to jokes about me, especially anything embarrassing. My dad is also quite academically oriented and strict about studies. He expects me to maintain my academics without compromises, but lately my OCD has affected my studies significantly. As a result, I get criticised about my academics almost daily, which makes communicating with him even harder. Growing up, most conversations with him were usually centred around studying, and I often felt like I couldn't comfortably enjoy or discuss other things, even small stuff like photography, laptops or going out. One major reason I haven't told my parents about my OCD is that I'm scared they won't understand and might laugh at me or dismiss my problems. I've dropped hints before, but those experiences didn't go particularly well. I've also had a past experience where something personal I shared with them was later brought up against me, which has made me hesitant to open up again. My sister is currently the only person in my family I feel comfortable sharing these things with. Another difficult aspect is that my parents sometimes bring up embarrassing things I did as a child. Normally, these might seem like harmless family jokes, but because of my real-event OCD, they can trigger intense anxiety and rumination. Even something being mentioned at the dinner table can affect me badly. I've tried asking them to stop making certain jokes, and they have made an effort to do so. However, the whole process wasn't easy. I sometimes felt mocked for being too sensitive, and there were also times when I found myself constantly monitoring their moods, worrying about whether something embarrassing might come up again. The confusing part is that my parents genuinely care about me. They work hard, provide me with everything I need, and look after me whenever I'm sick. They're not bad parents, and I know most of their jokes aren't intended to hurt me. I also know they haven't physically harmed me. This makes me feel even guiltier about how I feel around them. I often compare myself to other teenagers who seem completely comfortable joking around with their parents and sharing things openly. Before OCD, I didn't seem to have these problems to this extent. Now I avoid conversations, get anxious over seemingly small jokes, and sometimes end up arguing with my parents. I genuinely feel like I'm becoming a toxic or ungrateful child, despite knowing how much my parents do for me. I want to be comfortable around them, but I don't know how to get there. I also desperately want to tell them about my OCD, but every time I build up the courage, my mind starts imagining all the possible negative reactions and outcomes. Eventually, when the moment actually comes, I just can't bring myself to say anything. My OCD has been getting quite overwhelming lately, and I feel like I'm struggling with both my OCD and my relationship with my family. I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone experienced something similar? How should I approach this situation and what can I do to improve things? Note: I used ChatGPT to help me type and organise this post. I also have this weird problem where whenever I post or write something, I start feeling like I've written something wrong, rude or inappropriate. As a result, I usually avoid typing things myself because I keep overthinking every sentence. So, apologies for using ChatGPT, and I hope that's okay.