Accepting uncertainty and being uncomfortable

Something that I'm trying to do is be comfortable with uncertainty and just not knowing. It bothers me, but I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay anyway. Something that's been weighing on my quite a bit is my sort of lack of personal interest and urge to pursue dating. It comes up every now and then and it puts me in deep thought. I think about the expectations, the benchmarks, the time it happens for people on average. I'm just trying to be at peace with it and accept that I may not ever know. That it may not come up and that I can live a happy life despite that. Just to leave it up to God who does know all my plams for me pretty much. I think it's the best thing that I can do even if it feels like I should be doing something else about it. Hope everyone else on here is doing well. :)

moccalate

Date posted: Yesterday

it’s honestly horrible to sit in the uncomfortable feeling but yeah

NamedUser

Date posted: Yesterday

You're not alone in this 🫶

mommaP

Date posted: Yesterday

I felt this in my 20's. I thought I would never meet anyone and I didn't have much of an interest in it. I tried to force myself but it never worked out. I would date relatively unserious but the moment it even started to feel serious, I RAN. I had decided that maybe it wasn't for me and started to think about what I wanted and what made me fulfilled in life and worked to pursue that. Thankfully a few months later I met my husband but chance at a party for a mutual friend.

mommaP

Date posted: Yesterday

@mommaP I meant to go on to say, being in the unknown is uncomfortable but I started to decide on things that made me happy, goals that felt more known.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 16h

Congratulations and good on you following the things that aligned with your happiness on your own terms. :) I notice a reoccurring theme when I hear stories like this. The conclusion that you don't find love but it finds you. In fact, I can relate to the perspective of not feeling like it's something you want or are ready for. I tend to almost always feel like it's a need to meet a quota more than it is a want. That's not to say that it isn't a want because I do think there is apart of me that would really like to cherish an experience like that, but it just hasn't been more than the need to meet some "standard" Would you say you also did things that went from feeling unknown to more known as time went on? I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay to be uncertain about things I don't know about and that it's fine if things don't work out and that I don't need to give up on them so fast when they don't.

mommaP

Date posted: 12h

@BigGyro09 I honestly kind of felt the same way. I'll my friends had boyfriends and I felt like I wasn't in the right place, I should have someone just like them. Although I also learned that wasn't quite right for me. Yes and no to as see your question. The big change started after I met my now husband and we bought our first house. That started to remove some of the uncertainty in my life, things got consistent and I knew what to expect. I would say uncertainty stabilized. I think one of the things that have helped me as I have gone through all the different life experiences now, is I'm able to rely on that which is hard. I tend to obsess over things until they fell solved, concrete, unmoving and certain but when I look back and I'm sure you do as well, we always figure it out. An example is I'm working toward a promotion at work and that feels scary, it feel so certain, I can't control it and in a way everything that js currently know and certain for me will change and that makes it really hard to move forward but I remind myself of past company changes, job changes, promotions and I can do it. I might be uncomfortable but growth comes from uncomfortable.

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