ROCD Rant

I just need a space to vent off some steam about something. Not seeking reassurance - just needed somewhere to place my thoughts on this. So a few months ago, I met this girl. She is lovely. Very attractive to me, we got along well, had a great time together on our first dates. Now mind you, we both carry some baggage into this relationship. I have OCD (to the point of panic attacks in public etc..) and she has a child with a complicated situation between her and the child’s father. We are accepting of this and we decide to move forward. Well it has been a few months and over the past 2-ish weeks she starts to become distant. I notice she doesn’t want to hang out, she’s cancelling plans with me, she texts maybe once a day, etc… Then Saturday rolls around. She texts me one final “goodbye - I’m done. I don’t consider us as “exes” because we never truly dated.” text message and ghosts me. I’m in shock because I’m not sure if she’s joking, just in a bad mood, whatever. So yeah, it’s been a rough couple of days for sure on the OCD front. I feel manipulated, lied to, used, and hurt overall. I had genuine feelings for her and was starting to form a positive relationship with her child but then she just up and ghosts me. This has been an awful spiral for me and ROCD is a new territory that I’m learning. Does anyone have any tips or tricks for managing these thoughts? My compulsion is to text her and try to find out what happened but, from a logical standpoint, I understand that it’s not going to do any good if she’s made up her mind.

Asteria<3

Date posted: 18h

As someone who has never dated before I have no idea how this feels but i can understand what rough days feel like. Maybe have a nice day to treat yourself and get your mind off whatever is bothering you. I dont understand why she just left you like that but its better than being cheated on right? Hope you get better/are better.

OCDsuxx

Date posted: 17h

@Asteria<3 I definitely will. Thank you for your response.

ShaDes.

Date posted: 17h

I hear you and what you are going through. Being ghosted is not a sign that someone respects your time or understands the value in what you have to offer. I am sorry you’ve experienced that. I can’t help but notice that you said it’s only been a few months, she’s brought you around her child to the extent you gained a relationship with the child, and now she ghosts. It doesn’t sound like she is emotionally available. It’s concerning that she would allow a bond between you and her child if she really believes “you never truly dated”; unless it was explicitly stated by her that your relationship was strictly platonic…

OCDsuxx

Date posted: 17h

@ShaDes. Thank you for taking time to respond on this! Yes - she even stated that she looked forward to the future and possibility of marriage together. I was preparing financially and was gearing towards that as well. Oh welp. Thank you for your kind words though - it helps to hear from someone else’s perspective.

ShaDes.

Date posted: 17h

@OCDsuxx You’re very welcome! It is unfortunate that you have been put in this situation but consider it a sign. Perhaps this could be a learning curve for you. No one is perfect, but you will find someone who will compliment your relationship style without leaving you feeling ghosted, hurt, or used. 🤍

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