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Today, I took the first difficult step I've taken in two years: starting medication. It was not easy at all. I went to a doctor I work with at the same clinic, and making this decision was incredibly difficult. My OCD kept telling me things like, "What will the doctor think of you if he finds out you have sexual OCD?" and similar thoughts. It was a real struggle. I had never been fully comfortable with the idea of medication, but today I found myself facing a prescription and making a decision that took so much courage. After everything I've been through, I'm willing to give it a chance. We'll see how things go over the next month and whether I notice any improvement. Some of the doctor's questions triggered my OCD, too. However, he helped me understand that having desires as a natural part of life is completely normal, regardless of what my OCD tells me or how it tries to distort things. He explained that this doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me or that I should feel ashamed. He encouraged me to accept that I have natural desires and try not to give my OCD so much attention. The doctor prescribed medication, and I understand that when it comes to Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), you need to face your fears rather than avoid them. I believe that combining medication with guidance from my CBT therapist, whom I see online, might help me make further progress. We'll see. Something else I've noticed recently is that I've started accepting the fact that I have OCD. It doesn't make me any less of a person. I am still who I am, and my values are still my values. Sometimes, though, I wonder whether what I did was the right decision. Perhaps I could have faced this on my own, but I've tried so many times, and I had never talked about it openly with anyone. I still experience doubt, and I don't know how to make sense of it. Maybe I need to accept that I don't have to be certain. Another thing is that my experience with OCD has helped me develop many aspects of my personality and made me stronger in different ways. I've also been through some difficult experiences this year. I remember that during the first year of my OCD, I actually stopped attending university and barely left the house. But gradually, I started finding the courage to put myself in challenging situations. I began going out again, working, returning to university, and slowly breaking free from the cycle of staying at home and avoiding the outside world. However, I still have another journey ahead of me: building a life that isn't necessarily free of OCD, but one in which OCD can exist without controlling or interfering with my life. I still don't have certainty about anything. I don't know whether I made the right decisions, what comes next, or whether I will recover. I don't know how things will turn out, especially with work, university, and my personal goals. But for now, I'm trying to move forward, one step at a time.