- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I have a similar thing.
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh yeah. It's really really bad.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yea I have it too :( especially today for some reason
- Date posted
- 5y
Ever since I found out about some relationship stuff, I can't stop obsessing about how I'm not the one now and that everything is ruined and that it's all just horrible. I feel like total trash, like nothing will ever work out, I tried, but I can't make myself feel better and when I don't obsess about it I feel like kind of ok, but then it creeps back and destroys everything.... I'm so torn because my logical OCD side says there's reasons to be worried, bit then my more logical / rational non OCD side says forget it, move on. I can't figure out how to cope with this all.
- Date posted
- 5y
This sounds really similar to mine. Can I ask what you found out.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Addie976 She dipped from the app because she was mad at me but basically she was dating a dude who was gay and having ocd issues about it.
- Date posted
- 5y
And I can't stop obsessing a ? on our relationship, I do not feel like I am enough, he only wants to watch gay por , and semi violent oral videos and it makes me so uncomfortable and yet it's supposed to be all sunshine and roses
- Date posted
- 5y
Well look if he’s gay and trying to cheat on you with other guys, Bi whatever then you Have every right to have ended the relationship.
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian Thanks for the comment, yeah, when I saw that he messaged another guy that he used to see, j was deveistated.... But he claimed it was just for attention, no intention of actually meeting up, I'll never know which is the truth and that kills me. So now I can't trust him, but I want to and he cried and apologized so I almost left, but I didn't. I got sucked back in. And now every day I just think about this all, Taoist philosophy stuff was helping when I was single if I got stuck on a loop, but because he is the stimuli I can't get out of it and it doesn't help that he is not very nice about any of it either and he always tells me how gross my female part is and can't get through sex with me, but then tells me he only wants me and yeah it's so confusing and missleadi g, all his behavior has me in such a cognitive dissonance and I don't even know what I think, so then j kust worry and worry and obsess and obsess about it, doesn't help that I have nothing but time to do this right now. Oh gosh it's so painful being with him, I never felt like I wasn't enough for someone before just because of my gender.
- Date posted
- 5y
@savva Um he’s def gay and shouldn’t be making you feel bad simply because you’re a woman like tf break up with him and let him go back to fucking dudes
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian Thanks for that, I needed to hear something like this. Super appreciated! Makes me feel like I'm not then the only one for thinking that, because it is in fact not right, I'm always self doubting.
- Date posted
- 5y
You have to end the cycle and the thought spiral by ripping off the band aid and exposing yourself to your fears. But, you can do that slowly. If this is a “bad relationship” or whatever, you are strong and you can survive it.
- Date posted
- 5y
It is ruining my life
- Date posted
- 5y
And it's so bad because I was obsessed with him at first, but now it's just the obsession of worry, there was too many questionable past things from him, but more importantly there has been to many things that have happened since learning things that have made it near impossible to stop worrying. Oh God it's so bad.
- Date posted
- 5y
And there's no affection , the reassurance I would need to feel like it's hopeful is way out of the reach of what is reasonable from any person.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hmm can you expose yourself in baby steps, like watching movies or tv shows about this topic? That’s what I try to do. I find I avoid movies about love because of my OCD.
- Date posted
- 5y
So I'm stuck in the middle of being in love with my soul mate who is do anything for and wondering if everything is wrong and hopeless because of the facts, the facts show this is a bad relationship. But I'm dumb, so I believe that there's hope, then I just feel foolish, no point , it just goes on and on.
- Date posted
- 5y
I found out that he has been gay for the last ten years before going out with me. And he wanted to stay in touch with all his ex booty call gay Craigslist Meetup guys.
- Date posted
- 5y
I found out and ever since then I can't figure out of I'm being played by someone who I never will be enough for or if I'm just dealing with a really unhealthy person
- Date posted
- 5y
It's all so disturbing
- Date posted
- 5y
It's so upsetting
- Date posted
- 5y
Also you’re a girl so you have like way more options than a guy has (well a straight guy anyway) so I’m sure you can find someone who’s heterosexual or at least more honest with you.
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian I thought of this, but I dedicated myself, I don't want to give up on someone, I don't know, I liked everything about him until I found out about the gay hookups. Then it changed everything.
- Date posted
- 5y
I tried to erp myself with the disturbing finding of him n out relationship, but it just pushed me into the deepest depression, I think I went to far with trying to please him or erp about it, thinking k may be a bad person for not being more ok with his gay permiscous past, that back fired badly... And ending the cycle, I'm not even sure how to do that, he is dependent on my, so I can't even really do things to get my mind off of us for long because of that... Oh God.... Hey, thanks a lot for responding to me, I really appreciate that anyone would take the time out.
- Date posted
- 5y
Well let me ask you this, ocd aside do you think you can trust him or do you think he’s going to fuck random dudes?
- Date posted
- 5y
Also since I responded to your thing respond to my post, The one about the pure o.
- Date posted
- 5y
@sebastian I think I can. Ugh.
- Date posted
- 5y
Aye I’m sorry for offending you...
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Any Christian’s with religion ocd and relationship ocd I feel so alone
- Date posted
- 20w
Medication for OCD? Hello all, 19 male here, this seems like a cool community that isn’t nearly as triggering as reddit. I have pretty severe bouts of existential thinking or fear of going crazy ( psychosis ) after some pretty heavy mushroom trips a few years ago, I know logically I should be fine but I do know what it’s like to lose it and it’s scary. Currently I deal with relationship focused OCD, it’s all day from before I even open my eyes. I want things to work out with my girlfriend badly. Also I can come close to a panic attack sometimes which perpetuates everything. Anyway, I mention the fear of going crazy because the way my anxiety/derealization makes me feel is that I’m not mentally stable cause I feel out of it or unreal. I saw that a lot of anxiety and depression medication can cause psychosis and I feel like I could use some help in getting ahead of my OCD because the compulsions are had not to give into when I’m in such distress/not knowing. Plus overall I just feel like I have no idea how I feel about close to anything. Anyone relate about that ?
- Date posted
- 6w
TW: SO-OCD. I have been a part of the NOCD community for around 4 years now. I am seeing more and more posts, but I am very rarely seeing people actually commenting, reposting and engaging back. I think I have always had obsessive thoughts, but never knew it was a thing until around 5 years ago. I believe my first theme was Harm OCD, when my little brother was first born in 2007. I used to scream at night as I was so worried he was going to be kidnapped, or he may d*e. I would avoid sleeping at friends house's, my dad's (as my parents had split) as I thought if I wasn't there to protect him then something bad would happen. My mum said she would wake up and I would be asleep net to his cot in the morning (I was only 10 at the time). Fast forward to 2017, where me and my high school boyfriend split up, I convinced myself I may be gay as I no longer wanted to have sex with him (almost found it a chore). I was 16/17. We split up and I lived my 'single' life. Spent my time dating males etc and then myself and my ex got back together in 2018. My intrusive thoughts took a turn for the worst in lockdown, when again may libido decreased significantly, and I didn't feel and ;urge' with my boyfriend sStill current partner). I remember one day, bursting into tears, had a panic attack and cried for hours with the most excruciating anxiety chest pains. I told him and my mum about my thoughts. They are both incredibly supportive and my mu actually told me that she had these thoughts too when she was round 19 and still does now (I also didn't know that COD can be inherited). After about 18 months of the worst mental health, significant weight loss, social thoughts and almost ending my relationship, I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 2022, things started to get better. My partner and I were in the best place we could have EVER been! Sex life was AMAZING (quality of quantity I mean) and I honestly thought, this was the end. March 2024 I fell pregnant. Again, I had a great pregnancy, sec life was great, was so excited for our future. I have never been one to be bothered about marriage, but kept having this lovely vision of us getting married and our little girl walking down the aisle. Baby girls born in November 2024 and BAM, SO-OCD and ROCD have kicked in. I am now questioning my sexuality again, if I am in the right relationship, am I just 'settling'?, does he deserve me?, am I in denial?, what if we get married and then it turns out I am gay?, I don't want him to propose as I am scared etc. Just relentless every single day. I even question, if any of the conversations I have had with family and friends where they have related to me, were even real or if I made them up for my own comfort, so that I do't feel alone?! I am constantly reviewing past events, as I worry that I wanted to explore my sexuality in university, as I remember having an amazing friendship with a lesbian (who was, I am not afraid to admit, very 'handsome'), and we did flirt, as she did with everyone!! But we never took it any further, it never crossed my mind! I almost don't even get the 'anxiety/'sick' feeling anymore because I am SO used to the thoughts. I don't have an urge to act on my thoughts, but they are also no longer debilitating for me. I just feel exhausted with them. They are ALWAYS there. I have gone down the rabbit hole of avoiding meeting new women friends incase 'I find them attractive', if there is a same sex couple on a program I watch, I automatically avoid. I compare my relationship to others. I saw an insta reel yesterday of a women in her 30's that said 'when you're lay in bed with your husband, searching 'Am I Gay' questionnaires and you decide to divorce and follow your heart' and it was a page dedicated to her helping other mid life adults cope with coming out as gay! It really really really triggered me. I am just exhausted. If anybody else wants to share there story, comment below. It doesn't have to be the same sub types, but just an opportunity to vent!
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond