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Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

It feels like I want to be a fucking lesbian. I WANT TO BE STRAIGHT. I’m so ANGRY

SignorBlanco

Date posted: 5y

But fr. Your curiousity doesn't mean that you are that.. curiousity is just curiousity... Dont let it own you.

SignorBlanco

Date posted: 5y

If it makes you feel any better. Iam technically a lesbian too. Girls are hawt

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

Are you saying that cuz you’re a straight dude? Haha and I know girls are hot. Never had a problem with admitting that before. I’ve experimented once and have made out with all my friends but I never liked one or wanted to be with one until stupid hocd and now I feel like I do. But I don’t want to. I don’t even know what’s real anymore.

SignorBlanco

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdandme123 Yes ma'am, straight as a rainbow. Lol but ya I am heterosexualll dude. That sounds cool... I experimented with hot sauce before... Worth. But fr you know what's real. You can differentiate in moments of clarity. I moments of desolation like now ( I am guessing) you cmhave a lot of doubt. Don't change anything

Heello

Date posted: 5y

I am mad like that but with me is pocd, I hate it so much.

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

Yeah I can imagine :/ hang in there!

Luke R.

Date posted: 5y

Accept it. You are not your mind. Thoughts, feelings, and mental states are all temporary. Actions is all that matters mostly.

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

Everyone says to accept it but it’s so hard for me too cuz I’m afraid of I do, then it feels like it’s true or something

Luke R.

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdandme123 I did the same thing for months, years. You believe you are your mind. When in reality that is just simply another temporary thought and feeling that comes in that’s impersonal and completely separate from who you really are and your attention right here and now.

Luke R.

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdandme123 You just need to go on to the next stage, no matter how frightening thoughts and feelings get they are what they are and will subside.

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

@rukajp Thank you so much! I hope so!

Luke R.

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdandme123 I hope so too in my case. You are not alone.

Luke R.

Date posted: 5y

@rukajp It does retrain your brain eventually. I used to obsess over getting hit by cars and it would make my day a living hell. Want proof? I litterally just crashed on my bike and went into the lane. And felt nothing. Not even a urge if the fear arised. I “fixed” about 24 obsessions after being diagnosed with severe ocd. But the fear is still there in about 3 more. We have to fix the root of it. We are not our mind. Cureing some of the symptoms will not cure the disease. You are strong and smart. But you are letting your mind use you.

Luke R.

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdandme123 You know what my exposure is? My dad married a Japanese girl and I’m a 19 year old American living in the middle of a small town in japan. Litterally alone. I’m gonna goto medical school when I can here. It’s been so hard but boy does it teach you how to accept Litterally everything. You sacrifice your family, friends, self, respect, freedom, even your own language. Your not alone you got this.

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

You just contradicted your own statement - you just said you want to be straight, so you can’t want to be a lesbian

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

It just feels so real at times

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@Ocdandme123 I know I feel I am riddled with STDs because I had conjunctivitis and conjunctivitis can be caused by STDs It feels irrelevant that I had negative std tests and that the optician said I would have it elsewhere Mine feels real too even with tangible proof

Ocdandme123

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 I can relate to an extent! I went through a period of my life where I was getting tested non stop because I was just so scared and felt there was no way I didn’t have one. It sucked. And I am sorry you go through that. We are all facing battles. I know ocd is the doubting disease so obviously it can feel very real or else it wouldn’t be called that. It’s just hard when it feels so strong. It’s hard to be rational ya know

Related posts

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

I'm so convinced it's just denial

I feel sick to my stomach, a few days ago I knew I was straight and could picture my life with my bf again. The anxiety has really lessend and Im more depressed now. I'm 100% convinced I am lesbian even tho I have never had sexual attraction to women, found them pretty but never wanted to be with them. My mind is only picturing me being with women now and it feels like a pit in my stomach. I don't feel emotion now, I'm also on my period. I don't want to be lesbian. I want to be with my boyfriend and have the life I pictured with him. My memory is so dissorted right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with being lesbian, it's just not for me and now that makes me feel like I'm homophobic.

ninkaninga

Date posted: 20w

Feeling lost :(

So i started to feel like a lesbian again and that i have to be one. I dont want to be one. I just dont. But being straight feel like a lie now. I question my whole life, my feelings and everything. The biggest indicator of this must be that i will be slowly 21 year old and ive never dated anyone and i dont really find anyone attractive and i dont even know if i truly was attracted to someone and im scared of relationships i might have trauma or have anxious avoidant attachment. Help me. I do feel lost. Really lost. I dont know who am I anymore. I feel like that i must have been gay my whole life now. I feel like an alien. I sometimes feel like 2 people are living inside of me.😞😞😞

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 17w

LESBIAN DEALING WITH SO OCD

I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.

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