I have contamination ocs. This morning while putting away dishes, (the sink that i wash my hands most frequently in is the kitchen) a tossed a knife in the sink and the water splashed out and into my mouth. I can't wash the inside of my mouth! Now I'm freaking out! If it's not one thing it's another... My specific fear is emetophobia. Like i want to cry.

Crap!!! That sounds soooo intense. My partner and I are trying for a baby now and he keeps saying to me “whats going to happen when we have kids, are you still going to be like this” and I always say “I have no idea if I will be or not” because I dont know. And this is a this is a really Niave thing to say but I hoped that maybe when I have kids that maybe I wouldnt have time to de contaminat everything. But then my brain then says “actually yes you will make time”. I don’t even like things about my kids having friends and bring them to the house cause I hate other people coming over. I have so much decontaminating to do after they leave that now I just avoide people coming over.

It’s scary because I can totally see myself doing exactly what you are doing. I thought to my self that if I have kids I want them to have a shower as soon as they get home from school and before they even sit on the couch then I think Can I even inforce that, what is they just refuse. Ahhh and now I know they will. But your right. You can’t control anyone but yourself because the more you try to control the more out of control you start to feel if anything slips. So after the are sick in there bed how do you deal with that afterwords. Do you clean it all up and then break down? I can deal with dirty diapers I think. But I can’t deal with other people’s vomit. How old was he when you started getting OCD?

@Kate Joan I think talking in too much detail about events won't be healthy and will likely leave us both in a thought spiral. I will say that I'm thankful for my husband. I do usually end up trying to disinfect everything i can. And i have had a panic attack afterward. It affected my thoughts on whether to have a 2nd baby but i had to decide what was more important--appeasing my anxiety or giving my son the family he so wishes for and deserves.

@jojo757 That’s a really good point. I’m such a detail person but that’s my work side coming through. I also find some people feel better when they get to explain in details but others don’t need to. I also have a really supportive partner which I’m so grateful for. I started therapy 2 days ago which has already given me tools to move forward. And even after only 2 days I’m feeling better and like I have achieved steps in moving forward.

I had crazy ocd when my kids were lil but i never made them follow my rituals. i made a point to let there stuff be normalcy. Neither of mine have ocd now bit older but they practice safe food and hand hygeine. They avoid vomit Situations for me not cos they scared but so mum diesnt freak out. They would get a week or 2 off school everytime gastro hit their class. So it had perks as far as they were concerned

Oh crap. You have 2 kids. That would be really hard. I don’t have kids yet, I can’t imagine it’s a lot harder. What about when you have to change Nappies and clean vomit. It’s it harder when you have contamination OCD? Or are they not triggering iccurances?

Totally agree. The more we isolate ourselves the worse it becomes. Now that I know and understand more about what I’m going through I have started to recognize what is rational and was it not rational and just my OCD. Like washing my hands 3 times instead of one. 1 time is rational but the 2nd time is my OCD telling me “what if it wasn’t washed enough the first time”

@Kate Joan Same! If i lost count and didn't do full 20 seconds or if it splattered on my arm, i do it again or wash further up. ?

@jojo757 Omg so do I. It’s so weird how the brain works. Before this app I also never realized how my specific complushions could be exactly the same as someone else’s. My aunty is a trauma pycchologist and has been doing further studies on the brain and she has taught me a lot about how it works and why I do certain things. It’s really interesting. And now that I have a understanding of it I’m not hating myself so much. I wish I learned about all of this years ago so I didn’t let it get this bad.

@Kate Joan Omg i think 3 is the magic safe number also. Sometimes i wash em twice only and feel like such a bad ass ?

Im on sertraline, also. Just upped my dose 2 weeks ago but i havent felt a change yet.