Please, can any of you find it in your hearts to read this and help me? Okay so here’s the situation, I went through a traumatic experience a couple of years ago and have since deleted and gotten rid of everything that has reminded me of it. However, that also includes emails that I’ve sent to people. There was one specific email that I sent to my teacher in high school that I’ve gotten rid of, but the thing that’s really bothering me is the fact that it’s still sitting in her inbox. I want so desperately to remove it, but obviously I can’t. Would it be weird if I reached out to her on Facebook and asked her to delete it? I graduated almost two years ago. And I don’t know if it’s considered crossing a line, but it’s really driving my anxiety through the roof. If I were going to message her about it, how do you think I should go about it? Even though the thought of asking her also cause me anxiety.

ThreeLittleB...

Date posted: 5y

She probably has deleted it, ocd will make you fixate on things that seem like life altering threats. She probably hasn’t looked at that email since you sent it maybe a few times after that. I’m sure she is busy with her life, kids, family, schedule, bills. She’s not focusing on that email. You shouldn’t either. Life happens and if you reached out for help I’m sure she cares about you. It’s hard to not have control of what stresses us out especially if it involves trauma. But you will be okay and that email is not as important as the emotional response you have about the email itself. Let yourself be upset, acknowledge your discomfort and allow yourself to accept that you can not control all outward stresses. Allow yourself to release this from your burdens. I’m sure this has caused you anguish but know you will be okay.

I eat boys

Date posted: 5y

She is single. I understand that she is probably busy, but it doesn’t take that long to do.

ThreeLittleB...

Date posted: 5y

@I eat boys What if you reach out and she doesn’t respond or she says no, you’ll be under more stress. With all the love in the world I tell you as a friendly human to let it go for your own sanity. ?

I eat boys

Date posted: 5y

@ThreeLittleBirds Thank you, but it bothers me so much that I’m ready to vomit :(

ThreeLittleB...

Date posted: 5y

@I eat boys It’s more about the stress of not having control I’ve been there. It’s okay to feel sick over it it’s a normal emotion but if it’s causing you panic you have to know it’s ocd forcing you to fixate on it. It’s been 2 years that email is not going to affect you and if it does you’ll deal with it. Don’t let yourself be consumed over something you can not control. Even if you ask politely you won’t be able to watch her press the delete button.

Katyone

Date posted: 5y

Chances are she deleted it a long time ago. If you’re still close to her, you could ask, but remember that it’s a temporary fix. The best thing to do is work with your therapist on how to handle these obsessions.

Banana Panca...

Date posted: 5y

If u can explain the situation to her and you think she will understand then I think it might be fine (again I don’t know the situation) but if it was 2 years ago it’s probably so lost in her inbox she probably doesn’t have it anywa

I eat boys

Date posted: 5y

Do you happen know how outlook works? I’m hoping that they automatically delete emails after 2 years. But again I have no idea.

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

Even if she deletes it, it still lives online on some server somewhere. This would seem weird to her likely and I think it’s overstepping. This is OCD, not a legitimate concern. Do your best to deal with the anxiety. Some ERP with scripting may be useful here. Write out the worst case scenario and read it to yourself 10-20x a day for a week. See if the anxiety associated naturally dissipates. It will likely seem waaaaay less important later on in your life.

I eat boys

Date posted: 5y

Hey, what exactly do you mean by overstepping?

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

@I eat boys It seems pretty controlling to me. Especially when I think we can all tell that this email has likely already been deleted or is archived and will probably never be revisited or even thought of again. Don’t let your OCD win on this one. I know you’re anxious, but when you’re not eventually, you’ll wish you hadn’t reached out and feel embarrassed.

I eat boys

Date posted: 5y

@pureolife I feel embarrassed asking about asking if I should or not. This post was yesterday and I do feel a shit ton much better after getting some rest, although I’m glad I took it to NOCD first to get it off my chest.

I eat boys

Date posted: 5y

@I eat boys *asking about if I should or not

pureolife

Date posted: 5y

@I eat boys I’m glad you took it here first too! And great job resisting long enough for the anxiety to subside and clarity of mind to reappear.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond