Guys, I feel like I am depressed tho. Like actually. When my mom hugged me I didn't even smile. I have had no like expression all day. I feel like shit. At home mom goes to work early and comes home late. Then it's only me my little sister and my dad. Who does everything? I fucking do. I clean, do the dishes, make sure my sisters eat, make everyones bed, puts up games when we play, watching my sister to make sure dad doesn't do anything, and am nice to them. I don't know what more I can do. I feel so much stress every fucking day. I don't tell anyone this but.... Yes I fucking cry everyday, every night. I am just a fucking kid and I do shit like I'm a mom. I haven't told much people about this. I have only told maybe 1 person but... When Kaige( my ex)called me a hoe and everyone was making that a huge joke, I did something I shouldn't have. I cut.i cut myself. I felt I deserved the pain. I deserved everything. That I wasn't worth it. Nobody cares. I let myself hurt for what other people have done to me. And right now at home. I feel like nobody appreciates me. nobody cares. no body knows what goes through my head except me

Im just really sad, depressed and no one gives a shit about me. Not even the people who I thought I had my own family. Im all alone.

I’ve gotten bad again. I feel so alone and I’m so depressed. No one in my family cares no one gives a fuck And when I cry they just tell me to shut up or they tell me to stop being dramatic or cut it out. I hate myself, like I hate everything about myself my mind, my body. I keep thinking things would be better if I wasn’t here, everyone would be better, I wouldn’t just be a pain In the ass. I feel worthless. Nothing I do ever ends up meaning shit. No one notices or cares.

I don’t know what to say. I feel a bit lost to be honest with my thoughts. They feel so real, they actually hurt so much. Why do I find myself comparing to my boyfriends and my friends? I’m not them, they got nothing to deal with me. It’s just that I feel the need to prove I have it worse, and to do that is to partake in actual harm. I have been feeling really low lately, honestly I feel like I’m losing it. It’s a scary feelings to think unaliving myself may be an option for me but I don’t want to do that. In all the hardships in life, there is so good in there. I have my boyfriend , I got good grades, I have a good home life I guess, I have friends and other amazing things too. It sad to say but I kinda need some comfort to know I’ll be fine. I feel like I’m at the end of my ropes right now. When people tell me their struggles I compare them to my own. When people give me advice, I overthink it. When I have something hope it gets torn apart. My heart hurts a lot. I feel like even if I do pass I’ll just be another number, like a casualty and no one would care. But that’s not true, people do care about me enough that they want me to live. I’m just so tired of feeling this way. I need help. But I feel like I don’t? God fucking damn it leave me the hell alone. I didn’t do nothing at all. I’m a good person I have morals and I have everything that is fit for me. But why go for everything I care about huh? Let me heal in peace. I can’t even pick up a fucking pencil with other thinking about whenever I could draw good, or even take a breather. it’s disabling its fucked and it’s hurts. Leave me alone. I’m too young to bear this pain. Living isn’t supposed to be a chore. It supposed to be something to look toward to the happy things in life. I fear I’d slip one day and do something awful to myself. It takes more than two painkiller to kill you right? I won’t do anything bad. Maybe I shouldn’t consider this though. I feel like I’ve reach pure insanity with my mental health. Maybe I am depressed or something. God I need help. But why do people try to even help me? Why do they care? I feel myself switching. I’m trying my best to not believe anything my thoughts are telling me. I feel so awful to the point I feel happy. What type of sick shit is this? I do care. But at the same time I feel nothing. This is terrifying and torturous. Please help me. What is this?