Real event OCD. I have this real event from 2 years ago, that when I begin to fall back into a pattern of intrusive thoughts this is what tortures me. Its about me failing to flag/report something on an adult website I was on because I wasn't sure if the content was appropriate or not. I didn't click on it to check or anything, I was just scrolling past and saw it briefly for a split second so I could have been mistaken. It still bothers me to this day. I sought so much reassurance after the event and everybody told me websites regulate themselves in line with the law so they will have taken care of it if it was anything bad. But I still can't get over the feeling that I failed to do a moral duty of mine and that makes me a bad person and feel so much guilt for it even though rationally I know I'm not responsible for anything and it's not my fault. Please help. It's starting again...:(

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

You can’t be responsible for the content of a website - you don’t even know what it included so don’t worry

MJocd

Date posted: 5y

Thankyou, I do know that. My brain really enjoys making me feel guilty about things outside of my control.

bebrave❤️

Date posted: 5y

You know it is just your ocd talking and trying to make u feel guilty ! You did not film this video, or participate in any point of it ! Someone probably flag it for deleting it just after you saw it, but you don’t have to feel the responsability for everything wrong in this world ? you are great and this is not a big deal❤️

MJocd

Date posted: 5y

Thankyou. I cant even be sure if my mind just played a trick on me and everything was fine anyway. The horrible things that happen in this world disgust me :( thankyou for the supportive words x

Joey92

Date posted: 5y

Hey Mjocd, I have suffered from this type of OCD aswell as you and when I saw your post, I wanted to help because I know how nasty it can be. My advice and what has truely helped me (especially recently) is recgonising that assurance seeking is a form of a compulsion and that in a weird way bottling things up is actually healthier for me. Not in a toxic way but in a way we’re you let the worry stay in your head and accept that it’s not real and that their is nothing you can do about it. I definitely agree that you have nothing to worry about but I also know that I have had countless people tell me not to worry about the things I have brought up with them and I continued to do so. OCD will lie to you and you have to truely accept that you are being feed lies and that in order to let them go, you just have to let them be their. It is unfortunate but the only way around this, is through this. Anytime you feel like having an OCD thought is wrong, it will only come back stronger. Let it be their, try your best to be mindful and aware of the present and try to avoid the need to compulsively ask for reassurance as this will only make the thoughts stronger in the long run. Also, google real event OCD i found the articles helpful. Can give more advice if this helps you in anyway! Sorry it’s so long, just feel very personally about this form of OCD

MJocd

Date posted: 5y

Thanks @Joey92. It's been 2 years...my brain still brings it up when I'm about to fall into a spiral. I sought so much reassurance after the event, I remember I became really ill with these thoughts and would have nightmares telling me I'm a bad person for not reporting just in case. Everyone has told me I'm not responsible or in the wrong, and rationally I know that. In my rational moments I can clearly see that all my actions were perfectly fine. I was on a safe website, I was scrolling past suggestions, I thought I saw something abit strange but just continued scrolling and just logged out of the site all together. I didn't really do anything wrong, I cant even be sure if I really did see something weird or my mind played a trick on me. Adult websites are weird like that. It's not having the certainty that caused all this. I dont know why this still bothers me 2 years later. I did stop seeking reassurance and felt better, but sometimes I just cant help but makesure I share this event with others and have them assure me I am not a bad person for not reporting something immediately. I was young back then, I didn't even know how to flag or report things. If I had the Knowledge I have now about internet safety i would not hesitate to report things just to be on the safe side. I dont even visit adult sites anymore ever, I am too afraid of ever coming across something horrible just in case. I know its unlikely anyone would upload something horrible on public sites like those, as they comply with the law, but I still have an irrational fear about it. :(

shehan

Date posted: 5y

Please don’t worry ☹️

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