Real event OCD. I have this real event from 2 years ago, that when I begin to fall back into a pattern of intrusive thoughts this is what tortures me. Its about me failing to flag/report something on an adult website I was on because I wasn't sure if the content was appropriate or not. I didn't click on it to check or anything, I was just scrolling past and saw it briefly for a split second so I could have been mistaken. It still bothers me to this day. I sought so much reassurance after the event and everybody told me websites regulate themselves in line with the law so they will have taken care of it if it was anything bad. But I still can't get over the feeling that I failed to do a moral duty of mine and that makes me a bad person and feel so much guilt for it even though rationally I know I'm not responsible for anything and it's not my fault. Please help. It's starting again...:(

*Trigger Warning: Work, Mistake, Harm, Real Event* Afraid to post this… One of the worst theme I've ever had is the fact that I made a mistake at work many years ago and will not be able to find out if anyone was harmed. My brain takes the worst-case scenario as reality (which is so painful), and researching has only led to more panic. I have been thinking about this incident for about a year now and am filled with fear and guilt. Is there anyone here with similar experiences or tips that could help? I would be grateful for any response...

I feel nauseous. Extremely sick, i cannot eat, cant sleep well, and I haven't enjoyed things I normally enjoy to cry in bed and spiral for several days already. I feel extremely anxious over my past real events. I remembered something extremely triggering. I used to be morbidly curious about crimes and like I remember when i was a younger teen I watched a dark documentary that honestly i shouldnt have watched. There was this extremely weird scene and i think i felt weirded out but also a little aroused? but only bc I was thinking "lucky, shes already having sex. I wish I was her so i could experience it too." The poor person was like 1-3 years younger than me at the time. I KNOW how wrong that is now i legit feel like im going to throw up rn. Anyway I think I felt a little aroused??? And I think I touched myself a little bit and imagined myself in her place? I dont think I enjoyed it bc i remember it felt forced and weird and i stopped. I never did it again. I feel so sick! I would NEVER watch a documentary like that now as an adult and think or touch myself to it thats just so wrong but im scared that this is a sign im a sicko/p. I remmeber crying at the end of the documentary bc I felt disturbed by the contents but i still put some in my watch later out of morbid curiosity to see more real cases of these crimes bc they scared me. I never watched them again though. It only happened once and it was before my ocd started which SCARES me even more!!! And i wouldnt watch them as an adult either theyre too disturbing! I regret it so badly and feel like a monster bc it was messed up. Like what was wrong with me?! Theyre extremely disturbing to me and I rather avoid such content bc its triggering to my ocd but im afraid now like was that a sign of me possibly being a p? Am I a monster??? Am I in denial? Is this even ocd?! I feel so much shame and guilt it's killing me. 😔

Real event, legal ocd, and false memory ocd around events that happened years ago but never bothered me till a month ago and now my life is being destroyed because I feel sooooooooooo guilty