How do you believe it’s just ocd, when it doesn’t feel like it’s just ocd?

I went to cbt sessions years ago but that was for heckong doors locks windows etc for safety of my family and myself My theme now is STDs. I’ve never been diagnosed with one, but any symptom I have I feel threatens my relationship. I’m scared I will pass one to him and he will think I cheated and leave me. I have been checked countless times and I plan on going back next week because I had conjunctivitis once, and I didn’t wash my hands before using the loo. I had touched my eye, and convinced myself it was an std despite negative tests and that I have now infected my genitals and undone my negative tests. I have never seen someone have this obsession so I don’t feel it’s ocd. It’s too specific. I’ve been stuck on this thought for six months. I’m scared my life will come crashing down and I’ll have no way to cope

@hell no I don’t know if this will help, but I also have really bad intrusive thoughts that stick to a theme, and what you said sounds similar to that. my theme right now is very specific- I’m terrified my mom will kill herself, because she has tried to in the past, and that’s what started my OCD. I obsess about it, constantly. but my theme can change suddenly and sticks between like 4 different topics, all relating to death. so maybe you have intrusive thoughts that creates very specific themes?

@magical-thinking-kanna Well I had a symptom and I panicked and spiralled Also I have a deep fear of being abandoned by my partner because it happened once when I was with someone for ten years who left me suddenly with no warning I worry that anyone I slept with in between that relationship and my relationship now gave me an std that won’t be detected until years later and will make it look like I cheated and he will leave me Does it sound like ocd to you? I’m too close to the issue to be able to differentiate

@hell no it really does sound like OCD, I’m not a counselor or anything like that, but see how the things you worry about are connected by a trauma that happened? that’s what’s really making me think it’s OCD. it’s like the trauma brings it out. have you heard of magical thinking OCD? maybe check that out. do you do little rituals to kinda cleanse the thing you’re worrying about?

@magical-thinking-kanna Yeah I have heard of it, I’m convinced it’s all really reasonable to worry though!! I feel irresponsible if I dont go to the clinic again, but I’m scared if i DO, what if it says I AM infected?

@hell no that’s really hard :( I totally understand. maybe try writing down everything you do that is healthy? if you workout, if you eat nutritious food, because all that would fight those diseases and infections. other than that, the best thing I can think to do is go to a counselor. it might take time to find the right counselor but it’s worth it