Please respond if possible I need help: I'm really scared cuz I remember when I was younger I watched a lot of lesbian porn. I was looking for more and more things and was becoming desensitized. There were fleeting moments where I was wondered if I liked it or wanted to do that in real life. I remember having an intrusive thought about Mila Kunis cuz my brother had a crush on her and I wondered, "do I have a crush on her too?" I obviously didn't like the thought. I dont know if I'm creating false memories in my head and ocd is twisting things or if I definitely wanted to do things with girls and my mind just sucks cuz I have bad memory. I remember another time I checked and checked to make sure if I was aroused and wanted to do certain things in real life. The "liking," feels like it does now but I dont know if it was real or hocd :( now im afraid im bi and in denial. Any insight?

I know this sucks to hear but you have to accept the uncertainty that you may or you may not be. To me it sounds like false memories but I don't wanna reassure you. I hope you feel better.

I feel your pain the past couple of days have been the worst I've had in a really long time. But try first just letting your thoughts be there. Don't fight them and with time accept them as thoughts. Your anxiety is going to make things seem real that aren't.

If I can do it you can

I'll be real with you: a lot of my girl friends love to watch lesbian porn, and they're as straight as can be (trust me, I'm gay... I'd know!). Vice versa... I have some lesbian friends who like to watch gay porn, even though it only involves men. I myself am a gay man and when I was younger I watched a lot of porn with women in it (no longer do, that habit for me stemmed out of deep-seated trauma that would be too complicated to get into). Porn is ultimately very fictional and removed from reality, and doesn't usually intersect with sexuality in a meaningful way. If you feel like you're straight and OCD is just telling you that you can't be because of XYZ... well, chances are it's just being OCD. Human sexuality is weird, and a lot of straight people can enjoy things in a fictional space that they wouldn't in real life, it doesn't have to "mean" anything more. As with the wondering if you'd like to do that stuff in real life... that was normal. Younger you was just exploring your feelings about the media you were consuming. If you don't want to pursue women and/or the thought makes you feel bad or scared... you don't have to! Or for any other reason. Your life, your own terms.