uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

If I don’t hear my own obsessions used as an example on a podcast or article about why it’s ocd and not real, and how to get over it, I assume it’s NOT ocd and I SHOULD worry I hear other examples and think yeah but I can’t apply that to my situation because my obsession isn’t that one they talked about, I could be attempting to use “ERP” on something I SHOULD worry about

hateocd123

Date posted: 5y

Hey. I had this theme when I was in middle school and it came back for a while about two years ago. Most recently I was playing ukelele and I developed a blister on my finger (normal). I freaked out with the whole "what if its herpetic whitlow" and even told my closest friends that I was terrified that I might have herpes. I wasn't even sexually active at this point. Sorry for the TMI, but I also had razor burn on my bikini area at the beginning of this obsession and I was terrified that somehow I spread it from my hand to my genitals. Even though I kinda knew somewhere in my mind that it wasn't herpes I also felt completely sure that it was, if that makes any sense lol. It was at the beginning of my current relationship and I was on vacation with my boyfriend and my bestfriend. Somehow herpes came up in conversation because of a joke and then my boyfriend said "if someone gave me herpes I'd probably fucking kill myself" it was hyperbole of course, but it struck that OCD nerve and I got really anxious. Strangely the thing that got me over this obsession is that I found out one of my cousins has herpes and they just control it with medication and they're married with kids and live a completely normal life. It made me realize that if it was true it wasn't a death sentence. I accepted the possibility. I got tested and I don't have herpes. I'm sure this obsession will pop back up at some point, but for now I'm alright. In fact I don't know if you saw my posts a few months back, but I started to obsess that I had Ghonnerea based on pretty much nothing. I had a UTI. Got tested and I was fine. The one thing feel horrible about is that I got an antibiotic shot at the hospital to treat It just in case I had it as reassurance. It was 500 dollars. I still haven't been able to pay it back. So I got tested, didn't have it and still spent 500 dollars to treat an STD that I didn't have. Ugh.

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

I just can’t get it out of my head. You legitimately can get conjunctivitis from STDs so now I think if I get eye gunk on my finger or whatever I will infect myself seeing as I had negative test results, I have no undone them.. I had a hair in my mouth the other day, fucking pubw wasn’t it. Dunno HOW it got there but it wasn’t mine and looked he wrong colour for me or my partner sorry tmi Now I’m thinking I have oral chlamydia and gohnorea from a pube in my mouth I have rectal chlamydia and gohnorea from my eye when I did bullshit erp I probably have it everywhere

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

Legit can’t cope with the idea of being infected. He will think I cheated and leave me. I C A N N O T accept this. I’ll lose my fucking mind if he leaves

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 I understand and it’s hypocritical of me cause ocd does the same shot to me but it’s ocd the only way you could get conjunctivitis from an std is probably physical contact for example someone with an std physical semen into the eye which is very unlikely due to the fact you have a boyfriend

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

What’s your theme

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

STDs I worry that I have given myself an std. I had conjunctivitis which can be caused by STDs so when I touched my eye and didn’t wash my hands I think I infected my genitals when I used the loo I’ve never had an std but I still worry the conjunctivitis was caused by one My partner will think I cheated and leave me if I have him one I didn’t know I had because I always tested negative I need to test again because I feel I undone my negative results from the erp

bebrave❤️

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 I think this is ocd

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 I had this theme for the longest time

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@hiiiii So you think this is just ocd then yeah? I cannot tell anymore!

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@uwotm8 Yeah trust me it goes away I’m currently dealing with HOCD and I still have it sorta but it gets better it’s ocd I used to be scared of herpes but I realised that getting conjunctivitis caused by and std is extremely rare and your ocd preys on things that are unlogical and irrational

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

@hiiiii It’s so odd, I know it’s probably my o d but then I go “but what if it’s not!!” Then I’m back to square one wanting to get tested again I keep thinking “what if I was lucky and never caught anything before my partner in my mouth vagina or rectum, but I have always had anxstd in my eye and only realised it a year later when I had conjunctivitis? And then when I touched my eye and used the toilet and touched toilet paper and used it I infected myself? How can I explain that? He will obviously think I’m a bad person who cheats when I would never do that because I love him so so much and he will leave me and my life will be absolutely ruined”

Esosa

Date posted: 5y

Your obsessions fall under “health” or “health concern”

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 5y

Dear writer, please read the email sent to you from NOCD at any mention of self harm or suicide thoughts, actions. The email will provide referral support. Please also reach out to your support persons, dial 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if you have any thoughts of self harm or suicide. NOCD cares about your safety.

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

Thanks. I won’t do anything stupid I promise. I just don’t know how else to express how uncomfortable I am constantly worrying I’m gonna be left

alex l

Date posted: 24w

feeling like my thoughts are too unique

for the past few years i have been struggling with a certain theme of ocd as well as most of the other themes. but this one i have not figured out a good way to do my own form of erp or non-engaging responses. basically i will be daydreaming or thinking and have a very random thought. i wouldn’t call these thoughts intrusive thoughts because it’s not necessarily fear of the thoughts coming true, its just fear that my thoughts are too unique. my ocd will latch on to random or weird thoughts and may also add in that i was doing something weird while doing the thought. let’s say for example i thought of something random while i was rubbing my feet. then my ocd would be like “why are u having such a unique thought while doing something weird? nobody has ever thought about that specific thought while rubbing their feet before” (just an example). but basically it’s like my ocd bullies me for having thoughts that are too random and things i’ve never heard people talk about before if that makes sense. i am just trying to see if anyone relates even a little and how i can accept that everyone has unique thoughts.

marimallow

Date posted: 22w

Feeling “not ocd enough”

Does anyone struggle with feeling like their ocd issues are not ocd enough compared to other peoples ocd? Is this an ocd thought itself lol

SunnyAnon

Date posted: 22w

ocd + interests + online discussions

i’ve been having this theme pop up recently where if I see people either criticize or be a hater and spread misinformation or seeing old controversies about my current interests/hyper-fixations i find myself having a crazy anxiety attack about if it’s “morally okay” to be interested in my interests anymore. i feel really singled out and like im doing something wrong because im watching a youtuber or listening to a specific musical group. in all of these specific situations the people involved have talked about the situations and have changed accordingly but seeing it makes me feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to like my favorite things. to be clear none of these things are dramatically evil or bad. it’s either misinformation/uneducated people influencing someone opinion and then they learn and change. it just makes me feel like im not allowed to like my favorite things anymore because of people criticizing it??? if that makes sense??? also this is a little off topic but also not really because i’m 99.99% sure im autistic because of MANY things but with this specifically i have very strong interests and i feel very deep feelings about them and any and all criticism or hateful comments towards my favorite things trigger me deeply and make my ocd act up and make me feel uncomfortable and uncertain and anxious and it causes physical discomfort to me. i really don’t know how to calm myself down about this specific theme it’s brand new and makes me feel really anxious. not trying to look for reassurance but does anyone else understand what i mean??? does anyone have any advice on how to not give into the negative comments??? any suggestions on how to ease this specific anxiety???

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