- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey. I had this theme when I was in middle school and it came back for a while about two years ago. Most recently I was playing ukelele and I developed a blister on my finger (normal). I freaked out with the whole "what if its herpetic whitlow" and even told my closest friends that I was terrified that I might have herpes. I wasn't even sexually active at this point. Sorry for the TMI, but I also had razor burn on my bikini area at the beginning of this obsession and I was terrified that somehow I spread it from my hand to my genitals. Even though I kinda knew somewhere in my mind that it wasn't herpes I also felt completely sure that it was, if that makes any sense lol. It was at the beginning of my current relationship and I was on vacation with my boyfriend and my bestfriend. Somehow herpes came up in conversation because of a joke and then my boyfriend said "if someone gave me herpes I'd probably fucking kill myself" it was hyperbole of course, but it struck that OCD nerve and I got really anxious. Strangely the thing that got me over this obsession is that I found out one of my cousins has herpes and they just control it with medication and they're married with kids and live a completely normal life. It made me realize that if it was true it wasn't a death sentence. I accepted the possibility. I got tested and I don't have herpes. I'm sure this obsession will pop back up at some point, but for now I'm alright. In fact I don't know if you saw my posts a few months back, but I started to obsess that I had Ghonnerea based on pretty much nothing. I had a UTI. Got tested and I was fine. The one thing feel horrible about is that I got an antibiotic shot at the hospital to treat It just in case I had it as reassurance. It was 500 dollars. I still haven't been able to pay it back. So I got tested, didn't have it and still spent 500 dollars to treat an STD that I didn't have. Ugh.
- Date posted
- 5y
I just can’t get it out of my head. You legitimately can get conjunctivitis from STDs so now I think if I get eye gunk on my finger or whatever I will infect myself seeing as I had negative test results, I have no undone them.. I had a hair in my mouth the other day, fucking pubw wasn’t it. Dunno HOW it got there but it wasn’t mine and looked he wrong colour for me or my partner sorry tmi Now I’m thinking I have oral chlamydia and gohnorea from a pube in my mouth I have rectal chlamydia and gohnorea from my eye when I did bullshit erp I probably have it everywhere
- Date posted
- 5y
Legit can’t cope with the idea of being infected. He will think I cheated and leave me. I C A N N O T accept this. I’ll lose my fucking mind if he leaves
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 I understand and it’s hypocritical of me cause ocd does the same shot to me but it’s ocd the only way you could get conjunctivitis from an std is probably physical contact for example someone with an std physical semen into the eye which is very unlikely due to the fact you have a boyfriend
- Date posted
- 5y
What’s your theme
- Date posted
- 5y
STDs I worry that I have given myself an std. I had conjunctivitis which can be caused by STDs so when I touched my eye and didn’t wash my hands I think I infected my genitals when I used the loo I’ve never had an std but I still worry the conjunctivitis was caused by one My partner will think I cheated and leave me if I have him one I didn’t know I had because I always tested negative I need to test again because I feel I undone my negative results from the erp
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 I think this is ocd
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 I had this theme for the longest time
- Date posted
- 5y
@hiiiii So you think this is just ocd then yeah? I cannot tell anymore!
- Date posted
- 5y
@uwotm8 Yeah trust me it goes away I’m currently dealing with HOCD and I still have it sorta but it gets better it’s ocd I used to be scared of herpes but I realised that getting conjunctivitis caused by and std is extremely rare and your ocd preys on things that are unlogical and irrational
- Date posted
- 5y
@hiiiii It’s so odd, I know it’s probably my o d but then I go “but what if it’s not!!” Then I’m back to square one wanting to get tested again I keep thinking “what if I was lucky and never caught anything before my partner in my mouth vagina or rectum, but I have always had anxstd in my eye and only realised it a year later when I had conjunctivitis? And then when I touched my eye and used the toilet and touched toilet paper and used it I infected myself? How can I explain that? He will obviously think I’m a bad person who cheats when I would never do that because I love him so so much and he will leave me and my life will be absolutely ruined”
- Date posted
- 5y
Your obsessions fall under “health” or “health concern”
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 5y
Dear writer, please read the email sent to you from NOCD at any mention of self harm or suicide thoughts, actions. The email will provide referral support. Please also reach out to your support persons, dial 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if you have any thoughts of self harm or suicide. NOCD cares about your safety.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks. I won’t do anything stupid I promise. I just don’t know how else to express how uncomfortable I am constantly worrying I’m gonna be left
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
i’ve been having this theme pop up recently where if I see people either criticize or be a hater and spread misinformation or seeing old controversies about my current interests/hyper-fixations i find myself having a crazy anxiety attack about if it’s “morally okay” to be interested in my interests anymore. i feel really singled out and like im doing something wrong because im watching a youtuber or listening to a specific musical group. in all of these specific situations the people involved have talked about the situations and have changed accordingly but seeing it makes me feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to like my favorite things. to be clear none of these things are dramatically evil or bad. it’s either misinformation/uneducated people influencing someone opinion and then they learn and change. it just makes me feel like im not allowed to like my favorite things anymore because of people criticizing it??? if that makes sense??? also this is a little off topic but also not really because i’m 99.99% sure im autistic because of MANY things but with this specifically i have very strong interests and i feel very deep feelings about them and any and all criticism or hateful comments towards my favorite things trigger me deeply and make my ocd act up and make me feel uncomfortable and uncertain and anxious and it causes physical discomfort to me. i really don’t know how to calm myself down about this specific theme it’s brand new and makes me feel really anxious. not trying to look for reassurance but does anyone else understand what i mean??? does anyone have any advice on how to not give into the negative comments??? any suggestions on how to ease this specific anxiety???
- Date posted
- 24w
My OCD has found new objects that I should be scared or worried about and I have this urge to hide them or throw them away. When I’m trying to watch tv I get really anxious that I’m trying to focus my attention elsewhere other than being in my own head, trying to sort my thoughts out & when I say I don’t want something I feel like I’m in denial. Does anyone else feel like this
- Date posted
- 23w
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
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