- Date posted
- 5y
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- 5y
Hey that's so cool you've got the app to educate yourself! He's lucky to have a parent like you. Here are some websites my parents found useful: Intrusivethoughts.org OCD UK OCD Action
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- 5y
Thank you Daffodil. I appreciate your help.
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- 5y
@Debjo I'm here if you have any questions!
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- 5y
@Daffodil How are you doing yourself? Have you been professionally diagnosed?
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- 5y
@Debjo Yes I was professionally diagnosed 5 years ago now when I was 17. I've been mostly symptom free for 3 of those years I've recently relapsed so I'm at home, going to therapy and had a change in my medication. OCD thankfully is straightforward to treat, CBT/ERP is the proven way to treat OCD :)
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- 5y
@Daffodil That is awesome to be able to say You were symptom-free for three years. I’m seeing a lot of posts where people are talking about relapsing. Is that common? For whatever reason my son seems to feel that he should be able to handle this on his own. And when I try and talk to him about it he will tell me that he’s doing good and things are getting better. But I don’t believe that’s the truth. On the outside you would think he’s one of the happiest most put together people you know. But on the inside he suffers in silence. As a parent it’s heartbreaking. It’s one of those things I just can’t fix
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- 5y
@Debjo I'm not in a position of knowledge to say whether relapses are frequent to be honest I can only speak from my experience. However that being said my relapses (I've had two) one was from coming off my medication too soon and another was going through a very stressful life event. So I think relapses really depend on what is happening in the individual's life. I must say your son is very lucky to have you looking out for him, my parents were in denial about my OCD for a long time. From a sufferers perspective I can see where your son is coming from perhaps he is worried about burdening you with it? Perhaps gently introduce the idea of CBT/ERP therapy to him, unfortunately OCD is one of those things where it rarely improves on its own. So your son may need the help of an OCD specialist to help him tackle it. Things will get better ?
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- 5y
@Daffodil When we last spoke, he thanked me for always being there for him he said that we needed to sit down and have a heart to heart talk. We haven’t had that talk yet, but I hope I know the right things to say or what not to say, when it does happen. It’s one of those things that’s so foreign to me. I just want him to know there is nothing in the world that he could ever say to me no matter how bizarre or how ridiculous he may think it sounds that I would not support him and try to help him. It’s not one of those things I can tell him I understand or know how he feels, because I don’t. I’m sorry about your relapse, and I hope you’re able to get things under control again soon. We all deserve to live a happy healthy stress-free life. Or as much as possible ☺️
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- 5y
@Debjo My advice would be to read up as much as you can on OCD, once you've educated yourself it wont feel as foreign I promise. (My parents knew nothing about OCD and now they are very knowledgeable about it all from researching it themselves). For example look up the websites I mentioned earlier, and it's great that your son feels he can talk to you. Also, I HIGHLY rerecommend your son joining an OCD support group, this disorder is so isolating and to be around people who "get it" is such a breath of fresh air. Also thank you very much it's been a very scary time for me, this app has helped me considerably. All the best to you and your son, if you feel like updating us with how hes doing please do! :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Well I can tell you this as long as you listen and don't let him do compulsions he will get better won't happen overnight by any means. And know what his compulsions look like. They can be reassurance or checking. Don't reassure him of anything. Even though you think that'll make him feel better it only makes his fears more real and his ocd stronger. What to do tell him to sit through his thoughts no matter how bad and wait for the anxiety to ease up. Do this enough the obsessions go away cause the don't feel real.
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- 5y
How does any of this help? I’m new to it but am trying educate people around me too that re assuring me when I ask things, for example I was worrying about whether to get some cigarettes for the night as I’m going out with my partner so I asked her what should I do? Would this be the same?? Thanks
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- 5y
From what I have researched, you are right. I should not play into it. I have to admit, it’s hard sometimes though. I find myself walking on egg shells and doing anything and everything to not upset him or give him any type of anxiety
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- 5y
@Debjo I think that what you are doing in all of these attempts is literally amazing though and something that needs to take place more in this society.
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- 5y
@FOCD123 Thank you! I feel I am only doing what anyone would do for someone they love that is suffering from some form of mental illness. I am so naïve and uneducated about all of this that I never realize things like anxiety and OCD were considered mental illness. I hate to admit it but I thought mental illness meant you were crazy. It was just ignorance on my part, and now I’m trying to learn as much as I can
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- 5y
I definitely agree, intrusivethoughts.org and iocdf.org are great for information! IOCDF is also great for finding an OCD specialist in your area. It’s important to know, ERP is the gold standard therapy for OCD, and other therapies can actually make it worse. But I want you to know you’re a great parent for being this supportive and proactive about your child’s mental health ?
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- 5y
Thank you! I am going to be a sponge and try to absorb all I can. I never realized there are so Many different forms. When I used to hear about OCD I am mediately thought of somebody constantly washing their hands. Again ignorance on my part I’ve got a lot to learn
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- 5y
I have been trying to read up on it as much as possible. The problem is I don’t know if I’m helping or hindering the situation.
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- 5y
You’re trying to learn and help your son, I think it’s great you’ve come to this app. I was 15 when my OCD really started picking up, I had no one. My parents both thought I was crazy or laughed at me. It was super hard so I’m really glad you’re doing all this to help your son
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- 5y
@magical-thinking-kanna That is sad that you didn’t have anyone to help you through it. I cannot imagine what it must’ve been like. How are you doing now?
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- 5y
@Debjo Pretty ok, pretty much through Google I had to learn what type of OCD I have. I still don’t know much about how to treat it, I’m 18 now. I just kind of deal with it
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- 5y
@magical-thinking-kanna My son has not been professionally diagnosed either, but he has some strong tell tale signs. He also just goes through life trying to deal with it. Do you have family or friends to help you? I think having support seems to be a big help. And I don’t think anybody should just have to live with it, I think that there are treatments and things out there to help people with these types of issues. You just have to be willing to ask for the help and accept it. Which to me seems like an easy choice. Apparently the people that suffer with some form of a mental illness it’s not so clear-cut. I’m trying to understand
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- 5y
@Debjo Oh I did go to a therapist, he was pretty great and he diagnosed me. He moved away after 2 months and I didn’t want to keep searching for a new therapist. Yeah it’s hard to just deal with it, smoking weed helps but I can’t always do that
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- 5y
@magical-thinking-kanna Well I am in the learning phase of all of this. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but sometimes, just to listen is helpful. You can always reach out if you are needing to vent, or just want to know someone is there. ☺️
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- 5y
@Debjo Thank you so much ? you are too sweet! Your son is lucky to have you
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- 5y
What subtype of ocd does he suffer from?
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- 5y
He’s never been professionally diagnosed. But he talks About his mind never being able to shut down. He’s constantly worrying that his actions might hurt other people. When he comes home from work he hasto check around his car to make sure there’s no damage and that he hasn’t hit anyone. He’s constantly worried about hurting other people’s feelings
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- 5y
Yeah definitely sounds like ocd. Id research into harm ocd and see if any of the obsessions he has matches the ones they describe.
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- 5y
www.iocdf.org has some helpful articles for family members in their "from the experts" page
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- 5y
Thank you! I will definitely look into that.
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- 5y
You are being a great mom. My daughter got diagnosed, but she is only 8 years old. We try to support her as good as we can, but honestly there are days when nothing seems to get better. And for me I learned to accept that recovery from a mental illness is a long path to go.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Hello i got this app hoping to maybe find some support for my partner i thought about reddit but reddit has become a hateful place and i figured this is a safe place. i love my partner more than anything and he’s been struggling with OCD his whole life he has a hard time talking about it with anyone because it’s too painful he’s stated that it’s gotten worse as he’s gotten older His biggest issue right now is overwhelming thoughts of his actions having tragic outcomes and being unable to stop these obsessive thoughts (such as needing to check out door handle 5 times to make sure it’s locked but still panicking that it’s unlocked) he’s not open to one on one therapy or meds although he loves learning and watching informative videos i fear he’s afraid to confront his OCD or just afraid nothing will help i really wanna help him live a stress free and happy life he deserves it would anyone possibly have any ways to naturally help with OCD or recommend any great individuals that could share techniques on managing OCD or helping your partner with OCD? i would very much appreciate it!
- Date posted
- 18w
Hiii! This is my first post. I found NOCD through a tiktok ad that spoke to me. It was titled signs you didnt know were OCD or something like that, and one of the slides was “checking my pulse throughout the day to make sure i was okay”. This is something ive done for i dont even know how long. atleast 10 years, im 24 now. Ive always known Ive had OCD. Light Sanitation OCD runs in my family. But over the years ive started to realize i had way more than the “family trait”. Checking my pulse 40+ times a day is something i refer to as my “OCD tick”. Its to the point where people who dont know about my “tick” often ask if i am okay when they see me do it. Maybe this post is me putting it on paper for the first time so i myself can analyze but some other stuff i struggle with are: Often having thoughts of if i dont do A, B will happen. An example that is common for me is “if i dont refold this shirt me and my boyfriend will get into an argument” or if im out to dinner with a friend, “if i dont pick up this cup and place it back down, i will get into a car accident on the way home”. This is one i struggle with almost everyday, especially when im around people (work or outings). This compulsion happens multiple times a day. Now in my life i try to practice exposure therapy, even getting annoyed i feel the compulsion and think to myself “oh my god this is so stupid no!” but if i dont follow through i feel guilty. often when i get my next compulsion shortly after i tell myself “okay doing this will make up for not doing the previous one”. I definitely dont have a number based OCD, but i would have to pick up and put down the cup until it feels “right” or “correct”- same with checking my pulse. I have to check my pulse until the feeling is “just right”. With sanitation as i said before, i have a very clean and sanitary family, although mine is more severe than their feelings. I avoid touching certain surfaces after i have washed my hands, such as the front door knob, or living room tv remote, etc. If i need to touch or use these things, i have to immediately wash my hands again. Even if someone comes home and asks me to go and lock the front door ill often respond with “i cant i just washed my hands, if i lock the door ill have to rewash my hands”. thankfully my family is very understanding. I often feel like certain things are contaminated. For example when i come home i sanitize my phone immediately as it is contaminated from being outside of my house. I often have a feeling of something having to feel “just right”. If i go out to dinner i have to be the first to pick what seat or side of the booth im sitting on before the rest of my family sits down or i will feel anxious the whole dinner. Sometimes when im typing i have to back space and retype the same word over and over until i feel i typed it “just right”- even if i didnt make a typo. sometimes when i am driving and space out i often think “oh my god did i just hit someone” when there is no evidence that i have. it worries me. I think oh my god i mightve done a hit and run. But tell myself it can not be possible, theres no police chasing me, no honking, or anything. It is scary. this one is very rare. once in a blue moon i get a false memory. A main one ive felt since i was a kid is if someone or some object touches any part of my body, for example my left arm, i have to have them or atleast my self touch my right arm in the exact same way or i feel uneasy. this isnt with every single touch, but mainly when i feel triggered- although i never know what triggers a moment where i need the symmetry. I guess ive always known, i am very honest with my family, friends, and boyfriend about it. But i didnt start to realize how neurodivergent i was until asking some friends “you never randomly feel *insert compulsion*?” and they say never in their life have they felt like that. Im very self aware and have come to an acceptance with all these things, although it is debilitating. Periodically i think, wow it must be nice to not live life with these feelings but oh well. To be honest, downloading this app is the first step ive ever taken to find out more about OCD. Ive always kind of just been like “yeah i definitely have OCD but okay” more or less.
- Date posted
- 15w
Hello all, I just found out about this app! I’m pretty sure I have OCD, but also not sure. I’d line to discover more about to and hear what other experiences are.
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