This is my first time using the app, I am a mother of a 30-year-old son who struggles with OCD/anxiety. This is all so foreign to me. I’m trying to educate myself and learn as much as I can to help him

Thank you Daffodil. I appreciate your help.

@Debjo I'm here if you have any questions!

@Daffodil How are you doing yourself? Have you been professionally diagnosed?

@Debjo Yes I was professionally diagnosed 5 years ago now when I was 17. I've been mostly symptom free for 3 of those years I've recently relapsed so I'm at home, going to therapy and had a change in my medication. OCD thankfully is straightforward to treat, CBT/ERP is the proven way to treat OCD :)

@Daffodil That is awesome to be able to say You were symptom-free for three years. I’m seeing a lot of posts where people are talking about relapsing. Is that common? For whatever reason my son seems to feel that he should be able to handle this on his own. And when I try and talk to him about it he will tell me that he’s doing good and things are getting better. But I don’t believe that’s the truth. On the outside you would think he’s one of the happiest most put together people you know. But on the inside he suffers in silence. As a parent it’s heartbreaking. It’s one of those things I just can’t fix

@Debjo I'm not in a position of knowledge to say whether relapses are frequent to be honest I can only speak from my experience. However that being said my relapses (I've had two) one was from coming off my medication too soon and another was going through a very stressful life event. So I think relapses really depend on what is happening in the individual's life. I must say your son is very lucky to have you looking out for him, my parents were in denial about my OCD for a long time. From a sufferers perspective I can see where your son is coming from perhaps he is worried about burdening you with it? Perhaps gently introduce the idea of CBT/ERP therapy to him, unfortunately OCD is one of those things where it rarely improves on its own. So your son may need the help of an OCD specialist to help him tackle it. Things will get better ?

@Daffodil When we last spoke, he thanked me for always being there for him he said that we needed to sit down and have a heart to heart talk. We haven’t had that talk yet, but I hope I know the right things to say or what not to say, when it does happen. It’s one of those things that’s so foreign to me. I just want him to know there is nothing in the world that he could ever say to me no matter how bizarre or how ridiculous he may think it sounds that I would not support him and try to help him. It’s not one of those things I can tell him I understand or know how he feels, because I don’t. I’m sorry about your relapse, and I hope you’re able to get things under control again soon. We all deserve to live a happy healthy stress-free life. Or as much as possible ☺️

@Debjo My advice would be to read up as much as you can on OCD, once you've educated yourself it wont feel as foreign I promise. (My parents knew nothing about OCD and now they are very knowledgeable about it all from researching it themselves). For example look up the websites I mentioned earlier, and it's great that your son feels he can talk to you. Also, I HIGHLY rerecommend your son joining an OCD support group, this disorder is so isolating and to be around people who "get it" is such a breath of fresh air. Also thank you very much it's been a very scary time for me, this app has helped me considerably. All the best to you and your son, if you feel like updating us with how hes doing please do! :)

How does any of this help? I’m new to it but am trying educate people around me too that re assuring me when I ask things, for example I was worrying about whether to get some cigarettes for the night as I’m going out with my partner so I asked her what should I do? Would this be the same?? Thanks

From what I have researched, you are right. I should not play into it. I have to admit, it’s hard sometimes though. I find myself walking on egg shells and doing anything and everything to not upset him or give him any type of anxiety

@Debjo I think that what you are doing in all of these attempts is literally amazing though and something that needs to take place more in this society.

@FOCD123 Thank you! I feel I am only doing what anyone would do for someone they love that is suffering from some form of mental illness. I am so naïve and uneducated about all of this that I never realize things like anxiety and OCD were considered mental illness. I hate to admit it but I thought mental illness meant you were crazy. It was just ignorance on my part, and now I’m trying to learn as much as I can

Thank you! I am going to be a sponge and try to absorb all I can. I never realized there are so Many different forms. When I used to hear about OCD I am mediately thought of somebody constantly washing their hands. Again ignorance on my part I’ve got a lot to learn

You’re trying to learn and help your son, I think it’s great you’ve come to this app. I was 15 when my OCD really started picking up, I had no one. My parents both thought I was crazy or laughed at me. It was super hard so I’m really glad you’re doing all this to help your son

@magical-thinking-kanna That is sad that you didn’t have anyone to help you through it. I cannot imagine what it must’ve been like. How are you doing now?

@Debjo Pretty ok, pretty much through Google I had to learn what type of OCD I have. I still don’t know much about how to treat it, I’m 18 now. I just kind of deal with it

@magical-thinking-kanna My son has not been professionally diagnosed either, but he has some strong tell tale signs. He also just goes through life trying to deal with it. Do you have family or friends to help you? I think having support seems to be a big help. And I don’t think anybody should just have to live with it, I think that there are treatments and things out there to help people with these types of issues. You just have to be willing to ask for the help and accept it. Which to me seems like an easy choice. Apparently the people that suffer with some form of a mental illness it’s not so clear-cut. I’m trying to understand

@Debjo Oh I did go to a therapist, he was pretty great and he diagnosed me. He moved away after 2 months and I didn’t want to keep searching for a new therapist. Yeah it’s hard to just deal with it, smoking weed helps but I can’t always do that

@magical-thinking-kanna Well I am in the learning phase of all of this. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but sometimes, just to listen is helpful. You can always reach out if you are needing to vent, or just want to know someone is there. ☺️

@Debjo Thank you so much ? you are too sweet! Your son is lucky to have you

Yeah definitely sounds like ocd. Id research into harm ocd and see if any of the obsessions he has matches the ones they describe.