It’s ridiculous how much people discussing HOCD bothers me. I know it’s a form of OCD, which I understand is out of the person’s control. I know mental illness is not a choice. I have OCD, so I get it. I get invasive thoughts about being hetero, so it makes sense that it works the other way too. I know the people who have HOCD aren’t necessarily homophobic. It does kind of make me feel like my sexuality is a worst case scenario, though. I can’t help but think “people are as afraid of being like me, as I am of heart attacks”. Idk. It just almost feels like people are saying “oh no what if I’m gay” “don’t worry, you’re straight. You’re okay because you’re straight” (which I know isn’t the case). It could just be because of the lack of positivity I’ve seen surrounding the queer community lately, though. I’m not trying to call out or invalidate people with HOCD though, I know it’s something that they don’t enjoy, and it’s something they suffer with just as much as I suffer with my OCD. Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest

i don’t think you are being over sensitive at all. i would also be upset if I were you. but i also understand that for these people with HOCD, they don’t necessarily think it’s bad for someone be gay, they are just familiar with being straight and are scared they are something they didn’t think they were, if that makes any sense?

Hey I struggle with HOCD and I just want to say that I’m so sorry that you feel this way! Please know that I have never met someone with HOCD who is homophonic! In fact, I’ve only seen the opposite. Like the people above have said, it really is just that our thoughts/feelings don’t match up with what we truly want. I’m truly sorry you feel this way! Your emotions matter and I hope you know that we don’t think you or anyone in the homosexual community is a disgrace or “worst case scenario”

I’m in high school right now though, and lately I’ve heard a lot of homophobic slurs, and I think that that’s just been getting to me. I’m probably just being overly sensitive ??‍♀️

I used to have intrusive thoughts about being gay but they only scared me because I was scared that maybe I was lying to people by telling them I was straight and I hate lying. Or that Id be bullied if I was gay. Or that I was tricking people who thought I likes boys. Basically my intrusive thoughta about being gay were intrusive thoughts that I might be lying to myself and others and I was a bad person for being so manipulative. They also were only bad when I was goin through puberty and now that Im an adult and have experiences sexual encounters I know who I am. Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts about not liking people who are gay and those make me upset because I love everyone. But then again I have intrusive thoughts about saying slurs to every person. And the reason theyre inteusive is because they make me feel bad since I, without my OCD, would never say those things. Basically, my point is, those intrusive thoughts arw intrusive because its not the person who thinks like that or believes in that, its a seperate part, its the ocd, not at all the persons real thoughts

I struggled with HOCD in high school and I can tell you that for me, personally, it wasn’t so much a fear of being gay as it was that I knew I wasn’t gay and I couldn’t stand that my thoughts would not match up with what I knew to be true about myself. It’s like any other intrusive thought. I know I will be professional in a meeting, but I can’t stop picturing myself yelling out a random noise at every meeting I attend. For me, what is hard is not being able to out logic the illogical thoughts. I know when the mental illness is doing the thinking for me, and knowing it but not being able to stop it is extremely frustrating.

I hear you. I don’t have HOCD, but I do think for most people it’s not that they are afraid of being gay because it is “bad”, in many cases it is more that they fear what that means for their current relationship. HOCD and ROCD often go together. If they are in a hetero relationship and they are really gay, then that must mean that they are lying to their significant other about being attracted to them, which then causes a lot of guilt. Like I said, I don’t have HOCD, but I do understand how it can easily relate to ROCD. Take care and know that you are loved and accepted just as you are!

@Becky B. How are you nowadays? In terms of your anxiety and your attraction coming back?

@ocd333 I agree! I think that’s what sexual themes come up in general. We don’t wanna act on things that are out of character for us personally.

thank you, everyone!

Hey I can relate to that a lot. It really brings your mood down a lot. It can be hard to remember that that’s their OCD talking but because I can relate to that too, it helps. I think that maybe someone (in the queer community or as an ally) without OCD would find it hard because they can’t necessarily understand the thought process.

@Brookenoel, I am really struggling with the OCD nowadays but no longer HOCD. I now struggle more with social triggers and fears surrounding my job.