So, I have a question: Is telling people who have HOCD that even if they ARE gay it's okay and there's nothing wrong with it bad, or is it helpful? I want to reassure folks struggling with their sexual identities but I don't want to go about it in the wrong way. As a gay man who is very confident about his own sexuality, I really do not understand HOCD. It seems to rely on the notion that there is something bad or wrong about being gay, or attracted to the same gender in general, and in a lot of ways it seems like a very severe case of internalized homophobia.

Imagine having a voice in the back of your head that constantly tells you that your sense of identity is false and you're just leading other people on for the rest of your life.

And my fear having hocd is that I’m attracted to the same sex because I’ve been straight my whole life and been attracted to the opposite gender and when suddenly having the thought of being with the same gender, it’s not who I was

Nawh i turned to my mom and friends when it got really bad

I actually went to a gay affirmation therapist cuz i thought i was in denial

@advocate109 Your yourself perfect ?

Yep and I thought I was alone

Factz

I see a LOT of people with hocd acting like same gender attraction is gross, morally wrong, etc. Please explain to me how that isn't homophobia. Also, I literally have OCD. I do not appreciate your rudeness.

@Zera And I didnt appreciate yours.

@hateocd123 I wasn't being rude, I was asking a question. Please explain how acting like same gender attraction is gross and morally wrong is not homophobia.

@Zera I can see both sides here. Perhaps the frequency of this obsessive content reflects homophobia within the culture, rather than in individuals. Just like loads of people's OCD got tied up in worries about AIDS. It was a fear in the culture, so naturally it showed up in individuals' OCD, even if they personally wouldn't be concerned about it otherwise

@ocdillustrated That's basically what I believe to some extent.

@Zera I don’t think think Zera was being rude. I kind of see these a lot as well, and actually had to report someone on this app for saying something actually kind of discriminatory at one point. It’s kind of like where is the line drawn, Because it really isn’t so black and white. I try to be understanding because of course I’ve had hocd in the other direction (fear of being straight). I think Zera just wants to understand the thought process. And sadly people with mental illnesses will clash with each other. Someones ocd could trigger another persons ocd but not someone else’s, etc.

@Mars I will also say as well, questioning internalized homophobia I don’t think is rude either. I could see how it can be triggering, it does play with intrusive thoughts but the sad truth is for some people that IS their truth, and you HAVE to accept the unknown anyways. Only YOU know who you are, not your OCD. Some people really do have internalized homophobia and some people have HOCD. But asking questions isn’t rude, and while it may be triggering it’s just something that must be accepted. Even saying the word gay is triggering I saw someone say? It’s just life and some things you really need to just accept. We all need to accept things. Things trigger my OCD constantly but the way to help yourselves is accept the ocd for what it is and keep moving on.

@Mars When someone said gay it used to trigger me so I’m not sure if your saying I was wrong

@Peridottttt I’m saying that OCD is a battle that you’ll have to overcome just like all of us will. I’ve had words trigger me before as well- we all have ocd on here. Like I said this isn’t a black and white situation. It’s just where is the line drawn? I’m sorry that word is a trigger for you as well, I’ve had words triggered for me and still do, but we just have to live with those words. I don’t think there is exactly a right or wrong in this situation, just simply a line and the crossing of it is blurred and unsure.

@Peridottttt You can’t control what your ocd triggers you, and I’m sorry that word did trigger you. All I’m saying is that you can’t let it control you as hard as it is because it is a common word and gay people are common normal people that you’ll experience. OCD is a confusing and scary thing and we can’t control what it tries to scare us with but we can control how we react slowly over time. I wish you the best.

@Mars Ocd was really hard for me when I had hocd and didn’t realize others had the same. But now I don’t care if I feel gay