Amarthe
- Date posted
- 5y
hateocd123hateocd123
- Date posted
- 5y
Saying that it's a severe case of internalized homophobia is not only rude, but triggering. It's about identity. No one wants their whole identity ripped away from them.
hateocd123hateocd123
- Date posted
- 5y
Imagine having a voice in the back of your head that constantly tells you that your sense of identity is false and you're just leading other people on for the rest of your life.
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
And I understand where your coming from as a gay person, I’m gald we having this talk to give you more clarity. I have hocd and hocd opened me to have respect for the lgbt community
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
And my fear having hocd is that I’m attracted to the same sex because I’ve been straight my whole life and been attracted to the opposite gender and when suddenly having the thought of being with the same gender, it’s not who I was
AmartheAmarthe
- Date posted
- 5y
It seems less like a fear of being gay and more so a fear of experiencing homophobia (discrimination, losing the support of family, potential assault, etc) I've actually had it pretty rough wrt my sexuality, I had to run away from home as a teenager because of my family's homophobia.
advocate109advocate109
- Date posted
- 5y
Nawh i turned to my mom and friends when it got really bad
advocate109advocate109
- Date posted
- 5y
I actually went to a gay affirmation therapist cuz i thought i was in denial
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
@advocate109 Your yourself perfect ?
ruminating_redheadruminating_r...
- Date posted
- 5y
I could understand how you would see hocd that way. And I think in some cases you could be right. But I’ve dealt with hocd thoughts and I wouldn’t have a problem being gay, never have I been homophobic, it’s just a matter of it being thoughts that fight against who you are, and no matter how much it feels false to you, you still question it.
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
Yep and I thought I was alone
MarsMars
- Date posted
- 5y
I think about this a lot as someone who is gay/bi (I’m still questioning but I identified as a lesbian for many years)... it’s a bit hard for me to understand as well because I wonder what hocd is doing or if it’s internalized stuff. I guess in ways I undersfand because I’ve had extreme fears of being straight? But I dunno. All I can do is be supportive as best as I can for any kind of intrusive thought.
advocate109advocate109
- Date posted
- 5y
For me i have hocd and rocd. I think it stems from the fact rhat ive just wanted a wife my whole life.
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
Telling someone who had hocd and telling them it’s okay is kinda triggering, this is someone with hocd, even saying the word gay is triggering
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
And hocd can happened for gay ppl who fear to be attracted to the opposite gender. Never thought this shit happens to other ppl
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 5y
You're best off with acknowledging the uncertainty. This is true for any flavor of OCD. Maybe they are gay, maybe they're not. You can validate their pain while sidestepping the request for reassurance (which is a compulsion). The goal is not to make someone feel better in the moment, rather to communicate that you have confidence in their ability to experience discomfort and still be ok
hateocd123hateocd123
- Date posted
- 5y
Actually you know what. Imagine a 3rd party person you have absolutely nothing to do with comes in and says that you're only allowed to be with women. You don't want to be with a woman. That would be oppressive. That's hocd. That's literally just OCD in general. Oppressive intrusive thoughts that you do not welcome. Like do you have OCD? Come on. Internalized homophobia? No one said liking or being with the same gender is wrong. It's not our preference? What you're saying would be like a straight person telling you "why don't you just be with the opposite gender and like it"? That would be ridiculous, you don't want it because you're not into it and the same goes for people with hocd.
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
Factz
AmartheAmarthe
- Date posted
- 5y
I see a LOT of people with hocd acting like same gender attraction is gross, morally wrong, etc. Please explain to me how that isn't homophobia. Also, I literally have OCD. I do not appreciate your rudeness.
hateocd123hateocd123
- Date posted
- 5y
@Zera And I didnt appreciate yours.
AmartheAmarthe
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 I wasn't being rude, I was asking a question. Please explain how acting like same gender attraction is gross and morally wrong is not homophobia.
ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 5y
@Zera I can see both sides here. Perhaps the frequency of this obsessive content reflects homophobia within the culture, rather than in individuals. Just like loads of people's OCD got tied up in worries about AIDS. It was a fear in the culture, so naturally it showed up in individuals' OCD, even if they personally wouldn't be concerned about it otherwise
AmartheAmarthe
- Date posted
- 5y
@ocdillustrated That's basically what I believe to some extent.
MarsMars
- Date posted
- 5y
@Zera I don’t think think Zera was being rude. I kind of see these a lot as well, and actually had to report someone on this app for saying something actually kind of discriminatory at one point. It’s kind of like where is the line drawn, Because it really isn’t so black and white. I try to be understanding because of course I’ve had hocd in the other direction (fear of being straight). I think Zera just wants to understand the thought process. And sadly people with mental illnesses will clash with each other. Someones ocd could trigger another persons ocd but not someone else’s, etc.
MarsMars
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mars I will also say as well, questioning internalized homophobia I don’t think is rude either. I could see how it can be triggering, it does play with intrusive thoughts but the sad truth is for some people that IS their truth, and you HAVE to accept the unknown anyways. Only YOU know who you are, not your OCD. Some people really do have internalized homophobia and some people have HOCD. But asking questions isn’t rude, and while it may be triggering it’s just something that must be accepted. Even saying the word gay is triggering I saw someone say? It’s just life and some things you really need to just accept. We all need to accept things. Things trigger my OCD constantly but the way to help yourselves is accept the ocd for what it is and keep moving on.
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mars When someone said gay it used to trigger me so I’m not sure if your saying I was wrong
MarsMars
- Date posted
- 5y
@Peridottttt I’m saying that OCD is a battle that you’ll have to overcome just like all of us will. I’ve had words trigger me before as well- we all have ocd on here. Like I said this isn’t a black and white situation. It’s just where is the line drawn? I’m sorry that word is a trigger for you as well, I’ve had words triggered for me and still do, but we just have to live with those words. I don’t think there is exactly a right or wrong in this situation, just simply a line and the crossing of it is blurred and unsure.
MarsMars
- Date posted
- 5y
@Peridottttt You can’t control what your ocd triggers you, and I’m sorry that word did trigger you. All I’m saying is that you can’t let it control you as hard as it is because it is a common word and gay people are common normal people that you’ll experience. OCD is a confusing and scary thing and we can’t control what it tries to scare us with but we can control how we react slowly over time. I wish you the best.
Inferno Inferno
- Date posted
- 5y
@Mars Ocd was really hard for me when I had hocd and didn’t realize others had the same. But now I don’t care if I feel gay
Related posts
Luke_McElwee
- Date posted
- 17w
HOCD question
Anyone else with HOCD get thoughts of like "people in denial try to distract themselves" or anything along those lines when just trying to move on from the thoughts. Having a pretty bad episode this morning at least anxiety wise.
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 13w
Hocd vs actually gay (my opinion)
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 13w
How to counter hocd (in my opinion)
Think logically. Literally. Take me as an example. I have hocd and my obsession is “what if I’m gay”. I’ve liked girls my whole life, I can still get aroused by them and I can’t get the same instinctive reaction from a guy. So I can’t be gay. Sometimes ocd will go to something else once you prove it wrong. Maybe like. “What if I’m bi” again I can only get aroused by girls. Sometimes when I’m not thinking about it I can even get aroused when sitting next to a girl or when I’m sitting next to one or even when I’m touching one in a non sexual way. Something that never happens or has happened with a guy in my life. Don’t start panicking. Just “realise” who you are and who you’ve been.
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