Hey guys I just wanna share what I have been going through. Haven’t been here for a while because some posts trigger me. I’ve been suffering from HARM ocd since September 13,2017 and have attempted to go the therapist multiple Times but quit because they didn’t specialize in ERP. But College started and I never had time. Some Days the thought are super hard and other days they’re controllable. These past few days I’ve been having constant headaches and I feel I’m Going insane and bouta go To mental. I’m not depressed or anything cause I still eat and go to class but lately my head always hurts I always get horrible dreams and I feel insane. I don’t even get anxious I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I feel like one day imma lose control and I have the same mindset or a serial Killer. I feel so deattached and spaced out. I can’t travel anywhere without being scared or having this creepy feeling again. I went to panera and it was 30 mins away from my house but I felt so dark and evil. I feel lost! And days where I don’t get intrusive thoughts I feel so nasty and my head pounds and i really like i want to go mental and do crazy things and want to scream on the top of my lungs and lose control. Is this Normal? Please someone help. I wanna give up. ( dw I won’t harm myself so don’t report this post) please share tips!

Naeun- good to hear from you! I was wondering how you’ve been since you normally are pretty active on here. I would say this point getting therapy is even more important than going to college. I’m not sure if your financial or insurance situation but i would really look at going to an intensive outpatient treatment program. I would call one of the ones listed on the iocdf.org website and see if you would be eligible. You could even plan to do it on your school winter break. For me, I was not even able to feel depressed until I got some of my panic state under control. I know you are in NY, so please consider contacting Dr. Stephen Phillipskn or Dr. Penzel, both of whom are OCD experts. Also NOCD just sent out an email a few days ago that they are going to offer a premium version of this app with unlimited text support from a licensed OCD expert for $100/month. This might be worth it to you since you’re feeling so awful. I really hope your prioritize your mental health over any other achievements. Take care of yourself girly!!!

I missed you ! Why do I feel like this do you by any chance may be able to help me Out with tips? I feel like I’m about to go insane. Sometimes when the thoughts don’t bother me I still feel weird like I’m Gonna lose control but at times I don’t feel anxious! I don’t WHATS going on with me. I don’t see a future. And all these murder news triggers me thinking I enjoy them. I get bizarre thoughts !! Not only about harm but other things about self harm posting innapropriate pics :/ then I diagnose myself with other mental illnesses

I’m pretty sure that I’ve had literally all the harm thoughts you’ve had: - fear of stabbing a family member with a kitchen knife -fear of jumping in front of a vehicle/ train - fear of becoming a terrorist - fear of throwing things at people (glassware, laptops, weights, etc) - fear of yelling uncontrollably And so so many others. I think the first step is to turn off the news and disengage with it for a while. You already have a creative mind and don’t need new fuel for the fire. The second step is to really engage in ERP. Make a list of all your fears on the app and then we can help you to figure out exposures. I again want to stress how important it is to get in real therapy. It is the most important thing to do. I’ve had OCD interrupt both school and my career. I don’t want that for you. I’m really going to suggest you listen to Chrissie Hodges on YouTube and listen to how ERP has helped her harm OCD.