ChrisWu

Date posted: 5y

Hello everyone, so I'm slowly starting to get better in regards to dating. My ex and me broke up cause I just ran away and he had issues too, but he loves me and I love him so we are currently fwb. The issue I'm having is that ever since we dated or I'm trying to get close again; my brain brings up my old ex a lot or another ex. I was wondering if anyone has ever had their OCD use thoughts like mentioning the old ex's name or something against them?

XTrinstaX

Date posted: 5y

Yes I love my boyfriend but my ocd makes me think of my ex and it’s frustrating because I just want to be happy with my boyfriend right now. Makes me feel so guilty

ChrisWu

Date posted: 5y

Thank god I am not the only one! Like I know for a fact I do not wish to be back with any of my ex's it frustrates me!

mjacobs6

Date posted: 5y

I can relate

Ch13

Date posted: 5y

It's a bit different with me, I've got retroactive jealousy which makes me think of my Girlfriends past sexual life which is completely different to what she likes and says now. She keeps criticising people who do certain things she used to do and was into so I'm just confused as to if she's lying with me or some stuff like that. It's getting really bad with me because I simply am so In love with her, she's the perfect one I know that because she's like a mini me but my OCD is killing me.

ChrisWu

Date posted: 5y

Though our circumstances are different, I hope for the best and that your OCD quiets down though it is very hard

Ch13

Date posted: 5y

@ChrisWu I wish and hope the same to you

Jasm1h

Date posted: 5y

Maybe it's constructive criticism based on experience? Perhaps she has regrets and wants to steer others away from her path?

Ch13

Date posted: 5y

@Jasm1h I don't think I understand what you mean, could you explain a bit more thoroughly for a German ?

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

Best way to deal with your RJ: attribute it to your OCD, the chemical imbalance in your brain. Just accept the highs and lows. Because deep down you know the past is irrelevant. It’s hard to fathom with. With constant meditation, exercise and pursuing other goals it will just ease. It will gradually subside, may never fully dissipate, but like any other mental illness it becomes easier to live with, handle and nurture.

Ch13

Date posted: 5y

@JoshJRS93 Thank you very much for your time to write that! I really appreciate it

Mr JRS

Date posted: 5y

@Ch13 It’s perfectly ok. I’m a sufferer with this condition and I’m in love with my girlfriend, and I mean seriously head over heals for her; but I struggle that she had a four year relationship before me, and the most irrational part about it is, she was a teenager during this period haha. I’m 27 and she’s 21. Yet my mind struggle to deal with it. It’s ridiculous, and extremely funny. I’m a guy who’s had a few past sexual partners and she’s only ever had the one guy. It becomes hypocritical to an extent. But the most important thing to do is, never question your partner or anything, remain vigilant to yourself and understand the past is history and the future is a mystery, there’s only the present moment that matters. And to understand the present moment is to recognise your disorder, it’s your brain, it is not you. Now enjoy your time, be in love and fully cherish it. Meditate! Can’t stress this enough! Look after yourself.

Jasm1h

Date posted: 5y

Sorry I see how that may have seemed vague... I was just saying maybe she hopes others make different decisions than she did.

Ch13

Date posted: 5y

She definitely tells me that she was very naive in the past and regrets everything she did back then but my OCD likes to just not believe that and still pop up with disturbing images

Eperke

Date posted: 4y

ERP is the gold star treatment and it works - I did it and I was in a terrible state for years before. A bit of background: I have Retrospective Jealousy OCD. It started around 30 years ago when I met my now wife. I struggled with the thoughts about her past not knowing what was happening and when they first came on the pain was unbearable and I tried to kill myself. I then had years of going to therapists that were useless as they failed to realise it was OCD. Four years ago I finally was diagnosed and with the help of a great psychotherapist I have been doing ERP and at last things have improved. Before that I was totally at its mercy and I would get so angry and upset with my wife it was awful. Luckily we are still together. I would like to connect with others with this type of OCD to hopefully provide some support and understanding whether you have not yet been diagnosed or you are or are due to begin ERP . ERP was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. If years ago I had known other people with this OCD who knew what the diagnosis is and how to treat it it would have saved years of pain and suffering.

Uypvqcm5

Date posted: 23w

ROCD

For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..

misereri

Date posted: 20w

Someone to talk to?please?

Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?

anonymous737...

Date posted: 16w

i need some advice

So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips

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