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- 5y
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- 5y
Yes I love my boyfriend but my ocd makes me think of my ex and it’s frustrating because I just want to be happy with my boyfriend right now. Makes me feel so guilty
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- 5y
Thank god I am not the only one! Like I know for a fact I do not wish to be back with any of my ex's it frustrates me!
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- 5y
I can relate
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- 5y
It's a bit different with me, I've got retroactive jealousy which makes me think of my Girlfriends past sexual life which is completely different to what she likes and says now. She keeps criticising people who do certain things she used to do and was into so I'm just confused as to if she's lying with me or some stuff like that. It's getting really bad with me because I simply am so In love with her, she's the perfect one I know that because she's like a mini me but my OCD is killing me.
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- 5y
Though our circumstances are different, I hope for the best and that your OCD quiets down though it is very hard
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- 5y
@ChrisWu I wish and hope the same to you
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- 5y
Maybe it's constructive criticism based on experience? Perhaps she has regrets and wants to steer others away from her path?
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- 5y
@Jasm1h I don't think I understand what you mean, could you explain a bit more thoroughly for a German ?
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- 5y
Best way to deal with your RJ: attribute it to your OCD, the chemical imbalance in your brain. Just accept the highs and lows. Because deep down you know the past is irrelevant. It’s hard to fathom with. With constant meditation, exercise and pursuing other goals it will just ease. It will gradually subside, may never fully dissipate, but like any other mental illness it becomes easier to live with, handle and nurture.
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- 5y
@JoshJRS93 Thank you very much for your time to write that! I really appreciate it
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- 5y
@Ch13 It’s perfectly ok. I’m a sufferer with this condition and I’m in love with my girlfriend, and I mean seriously head over heals for her; but I struggle that she had a four year relationship before me, and the most irrational part about it is, she was a teenager during this period haha. I’m 27 and she’s 21. Yet my mind struggle to deal with it. It’s ridiculous, and extremely funny. I’m a guy who’s had a few past sexual partners and she’s only ever had the one guy. It becomes hypocritical to an extent. But the most important thing to do is, never question your partner or anything, remain vigilant to yourself and understand the past is history and the future is a mystery, there’s only the present moment that matters. And to understand the present moment is to recognise your disorder, it’s your brain, it is not you. Now enjoy your time, be in love and fully cherish it. Meditate! Can’t stress this enough! Look after yourself.
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- 5y
Sorry I see how that may have seemed vague... I was just saying maybe she hopes others make different decisions than she did.
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- 5y
She definitely tells me that she was very naive in the past and regrets everything she did back then but my OCD likes to just not believe that and still pop up with disturbing images
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- 4y
ERP is the gold star treatment and it works - I did it and I was in a terrible state for years before. A bit of background: I have Retrospective Jealousy OCD. It started around 30 years ago when I met my now wife. I struggled with the thoughts about her past not knowing what was happening and when they first came on the pain was unbearable and I tried to kill myself. I then had years of going to therapists that were useless as they failed to realise it was OCD. Four years ago I finally was diagnosed and with the help of a great psychotherapist I have been doing ERP and at last things have improved. Before that I was totally at its mercy and I would get so angry and upset with my wife it was awful. Luckily we are still together. I would like to connect with others with this type of OCD to hopefully provide some support and understanding whether you have not yet been diagnosed or you are or are due to begin ERP . ERP was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. If years ago I had known other people with this OCD who knew what the diagnosis is and how to treat it it would have saved years of pain and suffering.
Related posts
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- 21w
So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips
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- 19w
Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭
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- 9w
I’m struggling a ton rn and would love some insight from people. My bf and I broke up bc my OCD got to the point where it was extremely damaging to my exes mental health. We’ve been on a break for the last 2 months while I get therapy and help and he wants to try again in August. We talk everyday and fall asleep on the phone but I’m miserable anxious about what he’s been doing during the break. My mind is flooded with the idea that he might follow new girls on Instagram or he flirting and talking to new girls. It’s KILLING me. I’ve made up an entire situation w no proof. And I’m scared it’s not my OCD talking but a gut feeling. I know we aren’t together but it’s not fair to emotionally invest in each other if he’s not being loyal like I am. I’m just losing my mind and need help honestly.
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