Having a fear of statutory rape. In 2009 I met a woman on the internet who was Native American but her age was older than me. I was 23 years old and she was 26. It was the first time I lost my virginity. I never saw her ID but a couple of things I do know, people search indicates she is of the age she said she was, her appearance appears age appropriate, she has a boyfriend now who is near her age, her best friend she went to highschool with is older than me, she purchased cigarettes and alcohol indicating she presented an ID, she had a kid who was around 7 years old, drove a car and worked at a sport mart as a cashier. Part of the fear is she was a known liar who claimed to speak many languages, be an artist, she claimed she had been raped by others (not me) and would have me verbally attack them. She was married as well. I never was allowed to meet her family. Part of my fears are what if the person I met wasnt really who she said she was or lied about her age or someone who looked like her? I know this is irrational thinking and that likely this is nearly impossible but it creates fear and has been having a negative impact on me as well as my wife. I think the fear is the sex offender registry or consequences.

I think my biggest fears is I have no idea what information was truth and what wasn't. What I do know is she had the same cell phone, she graduated 2002 while I graduated 2004, the city matches with where her friends went and graduated with her, i confirmed she did work at the American Indian Center. Illinois has an age of consent of 17 and it seems impossible or unlikely she was under 26 but my brain is making it seem real like "what if the person who came wasnt her the first day but a friend or sister that looked like her". The first day I was nervous to do anything. She was in an extramarital affair and I remember distinctive markinga like she had surgery on her nose from it being broken, certain scars and some of the details of her teeth.

When an intrusive thought presents like this, it's often useful to think, am I spending more time than a person without OCD would spend ruminating over this? You've done a full on people search, you know a lot about her life, which indicates to me you're doing all this research to reassure yourself. Reassurance is a compulsion. I remember talking to a guy who was absolutely obsessed with figuring out if a pornstar he had seen in porn was above the legal age, and he was so terrified by the possibility she was not that he too had carried out immense amount of research, even figured out a way to contact her himself and even then said he would not have felt relieved even if she showed him her passport. This is just something you have to address like any other ocd fear, accept the uncertainty and carry on. Ofcourse that's never what any sufferer wants to hear as it's very distressing already to have all these thoughts but it's the onLy way forward. Conducting all this research is most definately a compulsion and will not bring you much relief.