I would like to talk to someone who gets porn addiction and wont judge me.

I cant stop obsessing over the fact that I'm an immoral person for ever viewing porn on pornsites. This is a constant obsession that comes back constantly. I stopped watching porn 2 years ago after learning about how unethical it is. I keep fearing I came across unethical porn unknowingly. I keep having porn scenes play in my head. It makes me want to punish myself severly for being so naive when I was younger and consuming porn regularly. I hate myself for ever watching it and I hate it for ever existing :(

I learnt about so many things about the porn industry later on in life, things like sex tourism, sex trafficking, prostitution etc all happens in porn and it really disgusts me that I have probably unintentionally come across all this stuff when I was younger on porn sites unknowingly. If I ever found anything weird during that time I did used to report it or just click away and move on to something else. But I didnt know the full extent of porn, it was only after reading things on fightthenew drug and other online articles I learned so much. I feel really saddened by this reality and ashamed I ever watched porn in the first place. I watched it throughout my teenage years but once i learned about these things i developed a complete distaste for it and i would never go on porn sites again but I cant get rid of the shame of it all. I know I have an obsessive brain and its intensifying these thoughts and obsessing over these shame/guilt thoughts. I also know I never intended to go out of my way to do anything unethical, I was just a teenager browsing internet porn like any other teenager these days The shame of it makes me want to die. Most people after they kick a porn addiction feel so proud of themselves and happy, I've seen so many guys make no fap videos saying how proud they are They've gone so long, and I just obsess over my morality and how I could ever browse porn in the first place. I have no idea how I will ever get over this. :( I feel like such a bad person.

Thankyou for listening to me :( I've ruminated for like 8 hours now. I cant keep doing this to myself. Pornsites have millions of people on them everyday, I shouldn't feel this responsible and ashamed :( but I do.

@MJocd Hey btw I suggest learning about god and salvation I watched porn one time when I was nine! I didn’t get caught but it lived with me, I think i was in the third grade and I already had thoughts of sex and it would constantly be in my head but all I did was ask god for forgiveness and I never watched porn since and he will clear your mind trust me but don’t think the thought doesn’t come back you just can’t stop the thought you just can’t I hope this makes sense and if you ever wonder about how to become a Christian I am happy to help