I've realized I haven't had an intense strong crush in a year and now I'm worried. What if anxiety made an asexual aromantic. What if I'll never meet someone I will love. What if I'll feel like this forever. I don't want to neither asexual, aromantic nor lesbian. I see all these cute guys but I don't feel that dizzy feeling now. Which worries me

I do still fantasize but they don't make me like "oh I wish this was my reality right now" or "I have to have you now". I used to be so attracted to the hottest guys and now I'm so locked up

@notfortalk Same thing. It's honestly frustrating :( can I say something?

@chamomile Yes

@notfortalk Do you think that actual lesbians would worry when they find out they're lesbians? I'm so sorry if this is triggering but this has been stuck like cause I don't want to gay/bi/ace. This question has stuck with me for a long time

@chamomile I have no idea. I have friends who have came out but they figured out and made peace in a few days

@notfortalk Oh well I don't have gay friends but im kind of worried cause I feel like im gay and its killing me :(

@chamomile Me too but there's no such a thing as feeling gay. Just as there's no such a thing as feeling straight. But when I'm attracted to guys and I have crushes I feel comfortable that's all I need to know

@notfortalk Same. I currently have a crush and I see him everyday and fantasizing about him feels comfortable and warm. Also our sexuality is determined from our childhood right? I mean I can remember boys hugging me and It used to feel good

@chamomile A huge part of it, yes. Girls used to compliment me and I would feel nothing, while when boys did it, I felt all giggly. It must mean something

@chamomile I guess not. But I don't know. Like that's kind of triggering because I'm not a lesbian and I hope so. I don't know how they would feel, but I guess it would just be different for them

@notfortalk Omg!!I'm so sorry that was triggering Ill delete it im extremely sorry :(

@chamomile Don't worry :) I just have a hard time figuring out those questions

@notfortalk No that was definitely triggering I'm so sorry

I didn't mean to invalidate you, obviously anxiety doesn't change sexualities. I just been very stuck on this topic because I wouldn't be happy if I personally were to never experience attraction. Umh can I ask a question, you can not answer if you want. Is having a strong romantic attraction towards people you don't really know well or celebrities put you somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum? Sorry if it's weird

@notfortalk i dont experience romantic attraction, towards celebrities nor no i dont mind answering questions about being aromantic or asexual, so feel free

@mintycatsam Thank you so much. What makes me worried is the fact that I used to catch feelings for people who weren't close to me. But they were really strong, I would fantasize a lot and I wanted to be with them, I felt jealous and sad about not being with them. But I guess I haven't experienced that with guys at my school. Which makes me worried that I'm unable to experience sexual nor romantic attraction and if that was common in the ace/aro community. I actually want to be able to fall in love I just didn't meet anyone special yet

@notfortalk im not sure how to respond here, since i wouldnt want to provide reassurance aromantic and asexual people come in all kinds there are many aromantic and asexual people who have happy and healthy relationships there are some who prefer not to have romantic relationships and instead value platonic ones the aro/ace community is full of people who have different experiences im not sure where your fear of being aromantic or asexual stems from

@mintycatsam My fear stems from my soocd. Which is making analyze everything but I also feel emotionally shut off which is also the case of why I feel like this. I'm afraid because since I was a child I cherished loyalty, romantic love and family. And while I'm aware the aro/ace people can have platonic relationships. I simply want to feel sexual and romantic attraction.

@notfortalk maybe as an ERP exercise, you could write a story where you dont have a romantic relationship in the future and are still happy with your friends?