does anyone else get obsessive thoughts about their ex while they’re with their current partner? i was in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 4 years (also my first relationship EVER) and i definitely have PTSD from a lot of it. he broke up with me and i’m so glad that he did, because i don’t know how much longer i would have continued to be in that relationship. the thing is, even though he’s done a lot of fucked up things to me, i don’t have hate for him in my heart. i have these thoughts like “oh if you don’t hate him you must still be in love with him” and they make me panic. i’ve been dating my current boyfriend for almost 2 years. i love him so much, he’s so supportive of me and great. i get these awful thoughts that my ex was “the one” for me, i will never feel the way i did about my ex with my current boyfriend, constantly comparing them, etc. i’ve been to therapy for years now, and have come to the realization that i am self-sabotaging. i’m lost, depressed, and scared. any advice would be appreciated ❤️

I wasn’t in an abusive relationship but it was the toxic “on off” kind, and I had these same thoughts with my ROCD and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, the thoughts are annoying but I definitely don’t love my ex anymore. And hey if it brings you discomfort I wouldn’t say you’re still into him. I’m sorry you had to go through that, no one ever deserves it, but try to power through the thoughts the best you can, bc it seems like your boyfriend is amazing and you should be able to enjoy that!

This was like reading my own story. I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years, too. I get thoughts of him a lot and wonder if he was the one and sometimes feel like I might “miss” him, I know I don’t and I know I’m happy and in love with my current boyfriend (we’ve been together a little over a year). This was so weird to read because I experience the same things. Remember that you don’t have to hate someone to be over them, holding hate in your heart would just hurt you more. He hurt you, but he was still your first love and nothing can change that. You have to forgive him(not like actually go up to him and say you forgive him), but forgive him for yourself and forgive yourself too because these thoughts don’t mean anything and you are not to blame. I hope this helps, if you ever need to talk I’m here. I’ve had an extremely similar experience.

@0823 can you email me? i’m not sure if we can add each other on here but if you need someone to talk to please don’t hesitate. dakotar517@gmail.com

Wow.. my heart skipped a beat when I read the first line. I’ve been struggling with this same exact for a year now. I tried mentioning it to my therapist but she didn’t understand. I have dreams every night about my ex. Every moment I wonder if I should be with my boyfriend or not. My relationship is so great and I made a very thought out decision when I left my ex. Soooo annoying. I’m SO GLAD I’m not alone wow

@hrbrett i know exactly how you feel!!! you are not alone. please, feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to

@DakotaRose I will email you soon! And thank you!

@dakotarose I’ll email you! I’ve been feeling crazy over this and felt so alone!

I have this too