- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I wasn’t in an abusive relationship but it was the toxic “on off” kind, and I had these same thoughts with my ROCD and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, the thoughts are annoying but I definitely don’t love my ex anymore. And hey if it brings you discomfort I wouldn’t say you’re still into him. I’m sorry you had to go through that, no one ever deserves it, but try to power through the thoughts the best you can, bc it seems like your boyfriend is amazing and you should be able to enjoy that!
- Date posted
- 6y
This was like reading my own story. I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years, too. I get thoughts of him a lot and wonder if he was the one and sometimes feel like I might “miss” him, I know I don’t and I know I’m happy and in love with my current boyfriend (we’ve been together a little over a year). This was so weird to read because I experience the same things. Remember that you don’t have to hate someone to be over them, holding hate in your heart would just hurt you more. He hurt you, but he was still your first love and nothing can change that. You have to forgive him(not like actually go up to him and say you forgive him), but forgive him for yourself and forgive yourself too because these thoughts don’t mean anything and you are not to blame. I hope this helps, if you ever need to talk I’m here. I’ve had an extremely similar experience.
- Date posted
- 6y
@0823 can you email me? i’m not sure if we can add each other on here but if you need someone to talk to please don’t hesitate. dakotar517@gmail.com
- Date posted
- 6y
Wow.. my heart skipped a beat when I read the first line. I’ve been struggling with this same exact for a year now. I tried mentioning it to my therapist but she didn’t understand. I have dreams every night about my ex. Every moment I wonder if I should be with my boyfriend or not. My relationship is so great and I made a very thought out decision when I left my ex. Soooo annoying. I’m SO GLAD I’m not alone wow
- Date posted
- 6y
@hrbrett i know exactly how you feel!!! you are not alone. please, feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to
- Date posted
- 6y
@DakotaRose I will email you soon! And thank you!
- Date posted
- 6y
@dakotarose I’ll email you! I’ve been feeling crazy over this and felt so alone!
- Date posted
- 6y
I have this too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
- Date posted
- 15w
My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond