Is doubting that I have ocd and that it could be something else Common?

Can you share some tips for beginners looking to recover?

@Jennnn Hi Jennnn, First I had to truly accept I have OCD and that I will have some form of it or level of it my entire life. I stopped fighting OCD on a certain level at that point. I surrendered to the fact that for some reason I’ll never be able to figure out (and believe me I’ve tried) why I have intrusive thoughts. The OCD I suffer from is usually Harm/harming others/losing control, usually centered around knives. I have/get all sorts of intrusive thoughts but the ones that have stuck are centered around people I love the most and knives. This just morphs into spikes of generalized harm and dread. I learned early on to not run away from or try and push the thought away. Instead I will either say hello ocd and you can go now or I’ll blow it up and make the scene/ thought as bad as I can. So instead of a knife I end up with a flame thrower or machine gun. This usually gets me to laugh at the absurdity of it all. A huge breakthrough for me is the intrinsic knowledge that I am not my thoughts nor can I control what comes into my mind. Through meditation this became very clear to me. Our minds are non stop chatter and thoughts are so random! I have lots of awful thoughts that don’t get stuck. Why is that? Because I don’t let them bother me, they don’t worry me. But they COULD! They are just as “bad” as the thoughts that get stuck. I learned to let them go and I try to feel the same way with the intrusive thoughts that I’ve let stick. It takes practice and trust. I allow myself not to worry a little bit at a time and build on it. I’ll also obsess on purpose or bring I to my mind an intrusive thought and practice letting it go. OCD ramps up when I’m depressed so I exercise a lot, try to do things that I love and keep me engrossed. Lately I’ve been reading a lot of posts on sites like this one (just found this yesterday!) and it helps to know I’m not alone When I was 16 and it was so awful I wanted to kill myself I wish I had resources like this. I was in such a bad way for at least 10 years, totally alone and suffering. All the while keeping it together somehow. I have worked with therapists but not as much as I probably should have early on. I ended up self medicating with alcohol and pot. That stopped last year. It is a terrible solution. It would help if I got really drunk, but the days that followed were so awful. So I drank and smoked more, became dependent and an alcoholic. Now I’m dealing with alcoholism, OCD and my good friend depression ? But I know I’m on the right path and I know I can manage OCD and there is help all around. I wish there were more qualified Therapists in Tucson. The one I found is $180/hr. Can’t do that. I’ll keep looking and working on OCD. I also quit caffeine and that really helped. I practice meditation as well. As you can see I have to do a lot of different things to take care of myself so I’m able to manage OCD. I know I can because I have so many times. I’ve had OCD since I was 10 or 11. I’m 52 now. It will never go away, but I’m able to live with it. Some days I barely notice it, others I have to remember what I’ve leaned in order to manage it. I hope that helps you. All my best to you and your recovery.