- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I'm not scared of being gay per se, but like others have said I'm afraid I don't know who I am and I've been hiding it even from myself! I'm 24 and in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend but I'm constantly worrying about if I'm lying to him about really loving him, or if I'll leave him for a woman. Ultimately I'm afraid I'll hurt my loved ones because I can't get it together and figure out who I really am :(
- Date posted
- 6y ago
it isn’t that i am scared of being gay, it is that i feel unsure and that i am lying to myself and others when i flirt, talk to, or think i like a guy. i think, oh no, what if i actually like girls and i was wrong all along? am i different than i thought? it’s the change that scares me and uncertainty.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It’s more the fact that it’s your OCD. I had fear of being a lesbian for YEARS. Yet I was never homophobic. What was terrifying was feeling like I was losing my grip on reality,as in how could I have not known I was gay?! Have I been suppressing these symptoms my whole life?! And so on..this is what made it terrifying.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh okay. I understand now. Thank you both for sharing.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I struggle with these thoughts and they are not fears about being homosexual. I am a heterosexual women and have felt that way ever since I was a little girl. And I have always dreamed of being with a guy I loved for the rest of my life, but then these thoughts came up! They say what if your lying to yourself and others. The uneasiness and fear comes from the thought you have to live a life (for me, being lesbian) that would not be pleasurable to you now and in the future. It is truly debilitating.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Our you just curious asking like how a person who is gay would be scared?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
No, I was wondering about people who have intrusive thoughts that they might be homosexual and it frightens them.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That make sense (in an ocd kind of way) ha I get it now.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w ago
It feels like I’m lying to myself constantly and everyone. There feels like there is a weight on my heart from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. I don’t want to be gay. Idk why it doesn’t register. Now everyone I see I have to see if I’m attracted to them. I see good looking men and I feel like I’m lying to myself that they are good looking, I see women and I see if im attracted to them. I look at everyone and I feel jealous. I want my fucking life back. But now my OCD (if this is even OCD) is telling me I was never happy and I was always suppressing my feelings of being gay. Why is this happening? Can OCD do this? I can’t enjoy anything ever.
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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