Hi again for the third day in a row, can somebody keep me company and just listen to some rant? Please :(

So this is going to be a bit of OCD and stuff unrelated mixed kind of rant. So here goes nothing: I don't know how I'll explain this but my days have significantly gotten worse right as I left posting on this app for a day. I got intrusive thoughts which I couldn't control having and it made me anxious and cry a lot. The next day I heard that my only comfort zone from my OCD aka my crush is probably going to leave the school. Then today has been just as bad, with my intrusive thoughts just taking it's whole power on me and making me anxious and feel "calm" at the same time. I feel fucking restless cause of my intrusive thoughts regarding my crush and my OCD. It's been really bad and hurtful

@chamomile I've been obsessing in these two days about my HOCD a lot and it feels like it's extremely true and I'm obsessed about my lack of attraction, not getting wet down there and I'm scared I have high testosterone. All of this had been stemming out of my HOCD and I'm restless, confused almost like an uncivilised human

Why? Whats the matter?

Oh thanks for caring friend. It's been so hard cause I can't tell anyone :(

@chamomile I give you so much credit for stopping asking for reassurance

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Thank you, I'm really trying my best. I hope I can get better, I just wish I would have any resource or support. I'm confused about what to do, like everything that was once natural has become second nature that and it just hurts bad :(

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Could you give any tips on stopping my intrusive thoughts? Since I'm trying to not seek assurance, my BN instrusive thoughts have increased a lot, obsessions have started looking up and in extremely stressed :(

@chamomile If you try to stop them, you'll have more of them. The key is to let them happen without fighting to make them go away

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Idk if my question would be assurance seeking but if it is, know I'm not doing it intentionally: Would my rational thoughts and natural way of life come back as I resist compulsions and just be here with it? Its surely going to bring back stuff natural to me right?

@chamomile I know that I have hocd definitely because I did ERP a few months back and it came back but now it feels extremely real. Do you have other tips maybe?

@chamomile I don't know. Personally, some of the things I like about myself (ex hobbies) have come back without extra effort on my part, but others I've had to intentionally get involved with again

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I see...so it kinda depends on the individual. Idk why I'm scared or so doubtful though I've dealt with HOCD in the past. I know how this goes but I'm scared I'll end up in a loop.