Being perfectionistic is annoying. In my head I want to change the world and make it better and do anything and sacrifice everything to accomplish it (studying political science and environmental studies in college, getting an internship in DC next semester) But deep down... deep deep deep down... I just want to get married and have a family and do beautiful things with my kids and husband. I feel like I’m not a good feminist for saying that... and it feels a little selfish... but god, I just want to be happy. Is that wrong?

Yeah you’re right ☹️ I just feel like a have to choose because I want to work on environmental policy and am so so passionate about my work that my family keeps saying to forget dating and focus on my studies. Which I am. But there’s a big part of me that wants to be happy and also find love that I keep shutting down because it’s not useful to my end goal. In my head I keep thinking if I do get married I’m being selfish and not devoting myself fully to making others happy I guess. Idk man.

Yeah I really do want that. I had a guy like that for a while but the problem with him was he was happier alone than being in a relationship which kinda sucked. All the best for him though, he’s a sweet guy

@Jordyn ? You’ll find someone eventually. Don’t feel bad about wanting different things in your life. I just got done with a local recycling meeting and my husband encourages me to do that because he knows it’s therapeutic for my ocd. And when my ocd acts up, he knows how to help me spot it. There are lots of sensitive and caring men out there and I believe you can find one! And remember you can’t save the world if you’re burned out or exhausted so take it easy. I about died of exhaustion helping with the Iowa caucus and now I see I have to take care of myself too.

@Jordyn ? I have learned that in life we have to be careful of what we expect from others. The reason why relationships end seems to always be a disconnection of some sort. We expect a lot from our “significant other” and when they fail to meet our expectations we naturally get upset. But we learn more and more each day.

@tiger1111 Wow, that’s so inspiring. I really appreciate you sharing that because I feel like if I don’t try to take care of myself soon I’ll burn out too. But you sound like you have an amazing husband and a wonderful life, so that makes me hopeful :)

@Jake M That’s very true. To clarify a bit, the partner I was referring to made the ultimate decision to break it off. He just wasn’t happy being with someone else and was much happier solo. We’re still really good friends and I want what’s best for him, so I let him know that he didn’t need to be in a relationship if it wasn’t making him happy. But you’re absolutely right. I just need to find someone who is willing to stick out the ride with me :)

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I always was of the mindset that if you really love someone, you do anything in your power to make them happy. It sucked a lot at first, but he’s a great friend and an even better person so it’s worth everything to see him happy