Depression TW I’m feeling so low, I don’t get along with my mom and I’m stuck renting a town house with her. I don’t make enough to live on my own in a decent place. I feel so trapped and sad. I hate my my life. My job is miserable, my home life is miserable and I lost all of my friends because I’m unlovable. I don’t want to die but I just want to suffering to end. Is anyone else this miserable?! Am I the only one. Everyone I see seems like they’re doing fine.

I’m 25 I should have my life together but I don’t. I’m scared of living on my own(scared to lose all the nice things I currently live with like a washer & dryer and garage for my car and someone else around to spend time with my dog when I’m not home) but I can barley keep up with what I pay now along with trying to pay off my debt and pay for car repairs. Life just keeps getting harder. I used to love doing my makeup I even built my own vanity from ikea. I have the studio lights and everything but now I have no friends and no where to go. I used to enjoy my life but with ocd and depression I can’t keep up especially with the emotional abuse I endure from my own mother who treats me worse than a stranger in traffic. Honestly what I need is a roommate and the guts to just leave.

@ThreeLittleBirds Well I think you should start doing your makeup again, if it makes you happy. You don’t need to go anywhere or see anyone to do makeup. I’ll cut on some studio lights, play my fav music on a speaker, and just do my makeup. I won’t go out. I won’t see anyone. I’ll just do it because it’s fun and it calms me down. I’ll go on Snapchat and take some pictures, but I don’t do anything special. It’s more about making yourself happy then about actually going out and having other people see it. And I think it’s dumb that you’re expected to have your life together at a certain age. Everyone’s different and everyone will get together at a different time. It’s okay that you’re 25 and you haven’t figured out your life yet. Your main priority should be to build your happiness and confidence so you can find a roommate and move out. Trust me, I’m so ready for college so I don’t have to live with my mom anymore. I can’t wait til August when I move. You just need to have something to look forward to to keep you going. That’s all.

@ThreeLittleBirds I think doing your makeup again is a good idea. Maybe go online and try to talk to some old friends even if it is just online. You will get your life together. Maybe look for a new job something that you like and maybe can move up and make more money. Don’t just settle. I didn’t have my live together until I was in my late 30’s. I am 48 now. I went through 3 divorces and had to live with friends because I am an only child and both my parents died young. I was 18 when my mom past away. Then 6 months later and 4 days before I turned 19 my Fiancé was killed in a car accident. Then at 26 my dad past away. Then I didn’t have a home to live in anymore. So just hang in there your going to figure things out.

@lois I can’t believe you survived so much loss, I’m so sorry. That’s sounds incredibly difficult. If you don’t mind my asking, What kept you going? How did you manage ocd, mourning and instability with your living situation?

I’ve been low low for like two weeks. I’m honestly scared. I can’t eat or think my mind is foggy and I’m tired. Just beyond tired. I want to get out and enjoy myself but the moment I get home I just feel that sad sinking feeling. That I’m completely alone

@Greenwhale Probably the usual stuff, everything is going to be okay and today feels bad but it’ll pass. And that they just need a plan to remove themselves from that living situation and not give up.

I believe in heaven and I’m sure we will all reunite with them again. People really are the cure that helps fight the loneliness and pain. I do bond with my coworkers but I work with a lot of older people so it’s a bit off. I wish a had a friend my age who could get me out of the house and spend time with. My ocd ruined my last friendship and my relationship with my mom was so toxic I was just drowning and couldn’t save my friendship so it was a hard time for me and jumping back in meeting people seems like a really difficult thing to do.

Sorry it has been so long. Hope your doing better. Even though you work with older people just remember some are wiser. Lol I totally get wanting someone around your age to hang with. All you can do is hold your head up and work on you. Smile at yourself in the mirror and remember you can make it too.