I have cocd and there were times, when I was having "weekends without ocd". I choosed some clothes, took only my phone and was living without ocd for the weekend. I slept on the couch (to not contaminate my bed) and didn't enter my room (for the same reason, I was using things everyone use). After the weekend I showered very intensively and cleaned my clothes. And I felt good during the weekend, but it was because I knew that my things are safe and clean and I will shower afterwards (i took normal showers in the weekend, but at the end was the decontamination shower). It was when I was in high-school, but every now and then I'm thinking "I was feeling good during the weekend, when though I was contaminated. So what if I would just let myself get contaminated at once?". Have you ever thought about going all in? Have any of you done that? Had anyone succeeded like that or is it too extreme?

Yes. And no. Yes, because in my mind I knew, that I will decontaminate myself at the end of the weekend. No, because I was contaminated during the weekend, and I was feeling good with it. I always knew that ocd is all in my head, but seeing that I can be contaminated and function like a normal person made me realize, that there is still hope. That everything may be all right, if I will fight this sick part of myself.

And I'm not sure what your comment with four dots was supposed to mean. Pity? Our just writing a random thought that came to your mind? Don't want to be offensive, but it is not helping anyone.

@Lavvy I was just trying to express my confusion

@Lavvy Are you on board with doing ERP? Touch and spread exposures might be a good game plan

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I understand. What is confusing you?

@Lavvy That you were describing a whole bunch of compulsions (ex sleeping on the couch, telling yourself it was ok because you could shower later, doing a compulsion shower) and avoidance while talking about your OCD free weekend

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Well, the thing with me is - as you could read when I described my weekend, even though it happened years ago - that my ocd is about contamination, but also about doing things completely. I can be contaminated for hours, if I know, that in the evening i will shower and toss my clothes to the washing machine. So if I will go sleep just a little bit contaminated, my mind will be stubborn enough to think, that everything is massively contaminated. That's why I asked if I can just go all in. Because nothing apart from going contaminated to bed (showered, but "contaminated") is really meaningful to me right now. I dropped some of my little rituals already, I easily don't perform them, and that's what's left. If I go contaminated to bed, on a scale from 0 to 10 there will be 10 points for feeling uncomfortable. There is a hierarchy for erp, but what if for me, there is only one important compulsion? I mean, there are many ways to be contaminated, but I don't care about dirt through the day, the only important thing is, if I go to bed clean or not.

@Lavvy If incompleteness obsessions are a separate but interlocking set of symptoms, I'd do ERP for them to. Do lots of things halfway

@NOCD Advocate - Katie But sure, you can approach response prevention any way you want.

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Incompleteness is a thing only when it is about contamination. I like to do things completely in life, but I don't have to. I only have to when it is about contamination.

@Lavvy Ok, fair enough. OCD is oddly specific sometimes. Still, if the obsession has an incompleteness element to it, then it's something to build into your ERP

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Because just not washing anything ever isn't a realistic life style either

@NOCD Advocate - Katie But how? For me it doesn't matter if it's 10%, 50% or 99% done - if it's not 100%, it is not done. Black and white, no grey. 99% is equal to 50% and 10%.

@NOCD Advocate - Katie "If I go contaminated to bed, everything will be contaminated", literally. I tried to let go a few times in the past, and after that I needed to clean everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, because I couldn't stand the feeling. What changed, is that now I live together with my boyfriend, so it won't be possible. And I think, would it be better? Because if I go all in, contaminate everything by going contaminated to bed, I won't be able to back down. I don't perform rituals when people can see it, cleaning everything would take hours, and my bf is with me all the time, so I wouldn't be able to clean anything (because I need to do it completely, everything or nothing, and do all the cleaning at the same time). I wouldn't be able to clean anything, so i would be forced to just live with it and face anxiety. But I'm not sure about it, so I seek advice.

@Lavvy It sounds like the living situation you're in now will be really supportive of ritual prevention

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Here's a video about touch and spread exposures to contaminate your environment https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DU6D-YA25RfQ&ved=2ahUKEwiuh8v61tfnAhXEF80KHe3fCmIQjjgwAHoECAIQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2ptleBszBRzgZErquS5AGc

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Thanks, I will look it up. Yeah, it sounds like living sitiation is supportive. ERP is step by step, but I wonder if is it possible to let go of everything, contaminate everything=jump on 10 on the scale of being uncomfortable and succeed just by living with all this contamination? Or will it be too much to bear? I think that I'm just worried, that it is not possible to do it by just "going all in", ignoring everything and not going step by step.

@Lavvy That's called "flooding". It has pros and cons

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Great to know that it's a thing! I wanted to do it this way for some time, but I've never spoke to someone that did it this way and succeeded (but I haven't spoken to many people with cocd). So because of that, I'm just scared, that it's not possible. Could you tell me something more about flooding? It's pros and cons? Or recommend some sources for it?

@Lavvy Honestly, the main pro is that if you're doing it with a therapist, you only have to pay for one session. The con is the risk of it backfiring. With any exposure, flooding or gradual, the purpose of the exposure is to create opportunity for response prevention. Not doing comoulsions is what changes our brains. If we do an exposure, but then give in and do compulsions, OCD gets worse. So the goal is to get to as high a level of distress during exposure as possible without it getting to a level where we cave and do comoulsions. Flooding is riskier because it's more likely to cause distress that exceeds our capacity to tolerate

@NOCD Advocate - Katie @NOCD Advocate - Katie Thank you very much! I can finally search for this method, I didn't know it is called like that. I've already read that it is dangerous and often not recommended, but one of the psychologists said, that it worked for one of his patients with cocd. In her case everything triggered a 10 level anxiety, so they decided she should go all in, and eventually she succeeded. It gave me a lot of hope. I will search for more information about flooding and maybe I will try it. Thank you.

@Lavvy Good luck ? remember that whatever happens is a learning experience. If it doesn't go well, you'll have more information to use to adjust your recovery strategies

Could you tell me more about why you didn't succeed? What do you mean, that "by the same person in your life", if I may ask?

I feel like I just look for one person who succeeded, because I'm worried that it is not possible to do it this way.

@Lavvy My mom isn't supportive of my therapy and every time I've tried, she set me back. One time I tried washing all my clothes together and throwing away all my hand sanitizer. My mom got mad that I was washing my clothes and threw all of them on my bed (which was a big no no in my head). Then one time she moved all my stuff onto my bed and I had a panic attack for like two hours and she kept moving stuff into the wrong place. Shes not a great human. Again, if your think you can try it, I say go for it. The time I was washing all my clothes I felt it working to a point and I just didnt get to the end point to see if I could've escaped the whole noghtmare. I hope that makes some sense