I need some advice, I believe I experience existential OCD regarding a story a read years ago called "The Egg" and the thoughts and feelings I get from it can be unbearable at times. I just had my first ERP therapy session today, and the first exposure wasn't too difficult for me and I didn't find that to be the really difficult thing about today's session. The difficult part was when I was trying to tell my therapist about my thoughts and I became super emotional to the point of nearly crying. That, and the way she was trying to get me to think about the story just made me feel more anxious and stressed. I came home after my appointment today and cried, and I've had no motivation to do anything at all today. I feel like my emotions and thoughts are unbearable right now, and I'm wondering how normal this is when first starting therapy? I know therapy is not easy, but I'm having unwanted thoughts over reality, existence, and other people being individuals, and the other people I love in my life are the most important things to me so this is very difficult. People and my beliefs have always been what's able to ground me in times of stress, but now I don't know what to do. I'm having trouble just feeling like I can carry on with my day, let alone another week until I can talk to my therapist again. These thoughts don't just make me feel anxious, they make me feel depressed.

lynnie34

Date posted: 5y

When you say how the thoughts take over reality...I feel you that’s how it can be it takes over you feel like you can’t even move I’ve been there it’s horrible but remember, it’ll stop so be strong it comes and goes mins to hours to days just be strong

PeachyPopsicle

Date posted: 5y

I'm trying to, it's just really hard to stay positive when all of my thoughts deal with existential stuff. It's really hard to stay hopeful. I've had some really good days and moments, but after my session today I've just felt like falling apart.

stripedcomfy...

Date posted: 5y

@PeachyPopsicle I'm in the beginning of figuring out this whole OCD thing, but I know exactly how you feel. I don't have good advice because I'm just starting to learn about this in myself, but you're not alone. I am available to talk if you want as well.

PeachyPopsicle

Date posted: 5y

@stripedcomfysocks Thank you, I've been struggling so much today. And this is after I've had numerous times and moments of feeling better, so this is super discouraging. Existential thoughts have by far been the most difficult ones for me to deal with.

stripedcomfy...

Date posted: 5y

@PeachyPopsicle Totally understand. It's crippling

DJ Ottumatic

Date posted: 5y

Sometimes the lines between thoughts, emotions get blurred by stressors outside my control. a Medical marijuana license has helped greatly

DJ Ottumatic

Date posted: 5y

I have a traumatic brain injury that elaborates symptoms. the Struggle is real

PeachyPopsicle

Date posted: 5y

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I don't think I'm able to get medical marijuana for my anxiety, but I know smoking it benefits a lot of people. I've always been afraid of it making my symptoms worse, especially since I've read accounts of other people experiencing the same stuck thoughts I have after smoking.

stripedcomfy...

Date posted: 5y

I am having the same thoughts. Solidarity.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond