My OCD is literally affecting everything I do. Eating, drinking, cleaning, cooking, showering, laundry, I mean everything. My cat is elderly and going downhill and that's exacerbating my OCD. I feel like a basket case. I've never had a single day of relief from this awful disease. I often wonder what it would be like to not be controlled by this mythical something that my OCD believes is in charge of my life.

I've also, been struggling in this way!

What would you act like if it weren't there?

I'd have so much less stress, I'd be able to breathe a little. My health would improve. I don't know, I've never had a day without it so I can't really imagine what it would be like.

I would get up, not count squares of toilet paper, or how many pumps of shampoo and conditioner I'm using, and wasting it if I mess up and have to start again, I would put articles of clothing on without the weird rituals when I get dressed, that sounds like s great start to the day

Which one do I wish was gone? That's hard to answer. I have a ritual for everything, even when I'm at the store buying groceries or anything else. I don't want to keep any of the rituals, I hate every single one.

The counting

How do I stop? Most of my rituals involve counting or numbers. I mean, some of them are strange, especially when getting dressed. In fact that’s where my OCD manifested itself the first time, when I was 7 and trying to get dressed after a bath. That and hand washing then. Every action involves a number or counting. I’ve been trying to ignore the urge to complete a ritual, occasionally I can, but my brain is telling me that my cat will die or some other catastrophic event will take place. I do realize that if I ignore it and go on with what I’m doing that I don’t usually think about it again, but not always. Articles of clothing can be bad luck if worn, I can’t eat certain foods like spaghetti or red licorice for example. If I do then I’m convinced that something catastrophic will occur. I love red licorice but haven’t eaten it in 25 years. Thank you for answering my posts, NOCD Advocate. I can’t tell you what it means to have someone listen

Well, there are good numbers and bad numbers. I have to use a certain number of toilet paper squares, for example. It may not always be the same number, but it’s a number that I consider “safe”. Having to repeat things is an issue, as well.

It’s the number of squares I use, like 7 or 10. 3,6,9, 13 are bad numbers, for example

I have rituals for getting dressed and doing hygiene and showering and I count when doing some of it and I do alot of things a certain way and count it’s exhausting getting dressed takes me along time when a normal person can get more done in less time I just want to throw clothes on and do things like a normal person.