My mother keeps telling me to "get in control" of my head and "just say no". Any advice on how I can make her understand better ?

Hi everyone. So recently I have been feeling so scared and paranoid of going crazy. I am terrified of i will go crazy and turn schizo. I’m so hyper aware of everything. My mind convinces me that I will end up like this but I really don’t want to.It’s my biggest fear and I think abt it almost everyday and I can’t handle it anymore. I just want to be ok. I have told my parents this and they say it’s all in my head and just laugh at me. I know it’s in my head but I physically feel sick to my stomach being constantly scared. Please someone help me please please. Thank you.

Trying to ignore my thoughts but it feels like they are only coming at me more now😭 im just at a loss i dont know what to do

i (22f) am not a full blown stoner whatsoever, but picked up smoking weed years ago and use it pretty regularly now that i’ve been in college for a while. Not the best habit, I know, but it eases my mind so easily and is such a quick fix for my ocd when I feel really panicky. My mom caught me last night and proceeded to have a full conversation with me about it while I was totally stoned. From what i remember, She isn’t mad just really sad and disappointed. She’s made it clear through my whole childhood that weed is a horrible drug, but i just dont agree. I think that when used in moderation, like any other drug, it’s actually super helpful. I leave for partial hospitalization this Monday for my depression and she has been so helpful in getting me to the stage where i actually want help. I just feel so guilty now. A part of me is like okay i’m an adult and i can smoke weed once in a while. I did it in highschool in the house like a few times and no one ever said anything. I did it outside far way from the house, not even close to where It could bother anyone. The reason why she woke up is because I was too loud coming inside and then she came down and smelled me. Another part of me just feels like shit. I’m not an adult right now because i’m in such a mentally shit place and rely on her for so much. I should be respecting her expectations. She just seemed really sad and that’s what’s upsetting me most. It’s definitely a habit that has gotten out of hand in the past, but I don’t really want to stop. That kinda makes me sadder. (it’s not legal where i live but i bought from dispensary in another state)