I’m really really upset and panicky. So I’m a senior in high school and I’m going to college next year. I want to go to this college out of state (which is amazing) but also since my home life isn’t very tolerable I need to get away from my family. But my mom is set on forcing me to attend this instate college five minutes from our house. She said she’d save money if she made me go there because I would just stay at home and my parents wouldn’t have to pay room and board. I can’t stay at home. I’d lose my mind. Not for four more years. And I love this out of state college. During the whole college process my mom has shot down and killed two of my college dreams (the college I like now was not my first choice). This whole time I’m supposed to planning and making decisions for my future, but I’ve just been doing what she wants and I’m sick of it. I feel like I have no say. And if I end up going to this instate college and have to stay home I’d lose my mind. Words cannot describe how much I hate it at home. I just feel helpless and I’m so mad because my mom loves to complain about how her parents screwed her over and made her do things she didn’t want to do while she does the same things to me. She’s such a hypocrite and I generally feel very indifferent towards my mother. We’ve never been close. She’s very picky and critical. Her mood is unstable and she’s delusional at times. I need to leave the house and grow up. I’m just scared she won’t let me.

I did that when I did the Fafsa in October. My mom is a doctor and my dad is an accountant. They make a decent amount of money so we didn’t get much aid from fafsa. I haven’t gotten my final financial aid from the out of state school so hopefully it’s enough when we get it, but we can afford the price it’s at rn. I got a really nice scholarship and it knocked the total cost in half. What we have to pay now is like a little over half of our expected contribution amount, so it’s affordable. My mom just wants to spend extra money on a new truck for her(even though she keeps saying it’s to get me a car)

@imokay Since you know the prices of each college, I think you may want a budget of expenses. Maybe if you can show your college is cheap to attend, she'll change her mind.

@NeuroHuman I don’t think she really cares that much about cost because another college that I really liked that was out of state offered me a full ride. And she still said no. I feel like she just wants me to go wherever she wants me to go not what I want. If she cared about price that much, she would’ve let me go to the school that offered me a full ride. She’s flat out refused to let me go to two schools that I loved. At least with this one she’s on the fence about it.

@imokay I’m just really nervous about maybe having to stay home because I really hate home

No. I’ve tried that with my school counselor and my therapist. Not just about this, but with other issues too. She’s so hardheaded and easily angered that she won’t listen. It’s her way or no way and I can rarely persuade her. Bringing someone else into the situation just makes it worse because she gets mad at me for suggesting the help. Last time I tried to get her to talk to a counselor with me she got mad at me and kicked me out of her car.

@imokay My goodness, maybe it needs to be more intense. Have you & her ever seen a psychologist together?

@NeuroHuman No and I know that it would help to see one, but I don’t think she’d be willing. She’s also somewhat opposed to seeking psychiatric health. For the past couple of years she’s embraced Buddhism, which is fine, I just think she’s taken it too far to the point where she thinks I can get rid of my ocd by having “happy thoughts”. I had to beg her multiple times just to get the therapist I have now.