What does that mean that the thoughts feel so real , examples?

Thank you for your message , does that mean that I’m not actually a pervert If I feel that it actually excite me or that I feel that I will actually like it if I do it ? Pls answer

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@Itshard That's a reassurance question

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I don’t care

@Itshard Ok. You don't have to. If you're ok with feeding your OCD, you're allowed to do that. Other people deserve the opportunity to choose not to participate in your comoulsions though

@NOCD Advocate - Katie What did I do to force them

@Itshard No one can answer that question. Not with any degree of certainty. So answering it is besides the point. It’ll comfort you for a moment, but then you’ll doubt it later on.

@Itshard Well, asking over and over increases the likelihood that someone will join you in the ritual. But most people provide reassurance because they don't identify it properly or because they don't know why it is harmful. Those factors aren't something you control

@NOCD Advocate - Katie If they choose to do compulsion or not How the hell will it be my fault because I decided to do it

@Itshard I did not say it was your fault. I said that they deserve to make an informed choice

@NOCD Advocate - Katie But every time that I ask a question the advocate respond that it’s reassurance! I don’t ask if it’s reassurance or not it’s not what I ask for ! Maybe you could say “this is reassurance , but If you still want An answer...” and then if you really don’t want to give reassurance you respond something that could help me with my question . Cuz saying that it’s reassurance everytimes make us feel like not one understand us

@Itshard No*

@Itshard That's valid feedback. I'm never going to give an answer to a question seeking reassurance. I want to help you, not your ocd. I can refocus the conversation on the emotion behind the question rather than the question itself

@NOCD Advocate - Katie That’s what I said “if you don’t want to give reassurance .. bla-bla-bla” You will have to read it again

@Itshard I'm struggling to see a way to answer the specific question without giving reassurance. To respond to a reassurance question without providing reassurance, by definition, one has to not answer the question

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Listen you are a professional in this thing you know what is normal or not but it’s not everyone that have this chance , so please, understand that for them who don’t have the luck to have a specialist, it’s important to ask questions on what they are living

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I mean, I don't think you'd be happy with me if I did what my therapist did and trained my family to do... She said to always respond to reassurance questions by saying the opposite of whatever I wanted to hear. Ex if I said "mom, do I look like a prostitute in these capris?" My mom would respond "yes, you do"

@NOCD Advocate - Katie You generalize

@Itshard How do you mean?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Not all of the therapists will say that , they will tell you that if that’s what you try to find

@Itshard I'm sorry, I'm still not sure I'm understanding what you're trying to say. Yes, different therapists do things differently, but no therapist trained to treat ocd would provide reassurance

@NOCD Advocate - Katie But I did not ask you for reassurance!! You can respond without giving reassurance

@Itshard Maybe I'm not communicating clearly why the question you asked was reassurance

@NOCD Advocate - Katie These are the criteria I use to distinguish between reassurance seeking and information seeking. An information seeker: -asks a question one time - ask to be informed - accepts the answer provided - asks experts qualified to answer their question -asks answerable questions - seeks the truth -accepts relative, qualified , or uncertain answers when appropriate - pursues only the information necessary to form a conclusion or make a decision. A reassurance seeker: -asks the same or similar questions repeatedly -asks to feel less anxious -:responds to answers by challenging, arguing, or insisting that the answer be repeated or re explained -asks people unqualified to answer the question -asks unanswerable questions - seeks a desired answer - insists on absolute, definitive answers whether or not it is appropriate -indefinitely pursues information without drawing a conclusion or making a decision When you said "does that mean that I'm not actually a pervert if I feel that it actually excited me or that I feel that I will actually like it if I do it? Pls answer" That was an unanswerable question, an example of insisting that a previous answer be reexplained and reclarified, and asking to reduce anxiety .

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I did not ask for a reassurance respond dawn your incredible

@Itshard Katie is right that you’ve posted this same topic multiple times. Whether or not you agree it’s reassurance, it’s at minimum still a compulsive behavior that’s feeding your obsession.

@CSquared Yes what I’m saying is that you don’t have to tell me each time that my question is reassurance, cuz if I post it , it mean that I want it

@Itshard But as an advocate and someone representing the app, it’s her responsibility to make sure that content within the community isn’t harmful to others. So she’s doing what she should be doing.

@CSquared Im not telling her that she is not right , I’m telling her that it’s a choice.

@CSquared How the hell its harmful. Asking question about my situation is harmful?

@Itshard If reassurance seeking is allowed without being contextualized, that sort of behavior becomes more permissive on the platform. Thus, people both old and new will have a skewed view of what the purpose of this app is. Which is to facilitate well-being and recovery from OCD. If no one challenges your persisten reassurance seeking, then others may perceive that this harmful behavior is not only encouraged, but possibly good.

@CSquared Excuse me but it’s told everywhere that reassurance is bad , you have the choice

@Itshard If your choice is to seek reassurance, there are loads of other places you can get it. This is an OCD recovery community. As such, reassurance seeking is not acceptable here

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Its a place where you ask your question , that’s what I did

@Itshard Have you looked at the community guidelines?

@Itshard Yes, but this is a community where reassurance seeking is curtailed because it’s harmful to those in recovery.

Thanks for your answer !