My mom is really against me taking my meds prescribed by the psychiatrist.. (Prozac 10mg) I really feel stuck I’ve tried it all I’m so tired of suffering... everyone always says they understand but they don’t .. they say do something positive but they don’t.. I’m just tired mentally and stressed and tired of crying .

I’m feeling kind of sad cause today was not a really good day in terms of my ocd. I was feeling kind of foggy/numb and that send me to spiraling. I’m 21 years old currently studying but my family has been having trouble with money for the last couple years(we’re just me and my mom) and I kinda want to get a job but everything is far from my home and I wouldn’t be able to return back at night, also it’s either way more expensive to move or the schedule wouldn’t let me take my classes. The point is that because of that every time my mom is stress tends to treat me bad, she speaks to me like I’m stupid or she just screams to nothing cursing all life and everything and that actually makes me feel soo bad and guilty for not doing anything, I know it’s hard for me to get a job that actually helps us without quitting school but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’m a burden. I want to help, I want to maybe hug her or something but I know she will be angrier and probably will reject it. So that’s it, I just feel like she punishes me for the stress she’s carrying and I get it but one day is happy and it feels like all love and the next is treating me like that, Idk it’s hard (also I feel like I shouldn’t be saying this cause it’s all my fault) 🫤

I’m working with a new psychiatrist for medication. She suggested both prozac or luvox. wondering what has worked for people or any suggestions

Today my mom broke down crying because of how much stress she feels having to take care of me, she said I can’t do anything in terms of being able to take care of myself and she’s right I can’t, she breaks down constantly because of me, I don’t know what to do, it’s been like this for years, part of me feels like the only way to save her is to kill myself, I don’t want to die, but it feels like the only way to set her free, I don’t think anyone but her would miss me anyways, I feel utterly hopeless. I’m not going to do anything to myself the voices are just SCREAMING that I need to. I can’t work, I can’t go to school, I’m trying desperately to get therapy, I don’t know what else to do, I wish I was a child again and I felt like I had a chance to be okay. I love my mom so much and she loves me and I’m killing her, I’m actually killing her, with how fuckinh worthless and pathetic I am, it’s too much, I miss being a kid.