I’m panicking so hard over my life My job is a dead end job I HATED from day one I wanted to leave on my lunch hour and my ex wouldn’t have been happy so I stayed. Been here four years now and he threw me out with no warning after ten years but I’m still stuck here. Ive been bullied there by my manager for a year, used my mental illness against me and I have been feeling trapped and isolated. When I apply for new jobs. I hear nothing. I feel powerless and nothing is in my control. I can’t leave because I won’t have money and I can’t work out what to do with my creativity. Everyone reminds me constantly I’m wasted at a job I already despise so it makes me spiral into “oh god I’ll never make my life worth anything” Also My ocd is wrecking me My anxiety in general is wrecking me I feel low I think I may also have undiagnosed bpd My partner’s mother is ill will cancer and he’s shutting me out, triggering my abandonment fears I feel no security or direction in my life at all. I feel I’m on shaky ground 24/7 and I have no control over anything Panic please please say someone else feels this way I feel a complete failure and disappointment running out of time

At 17 I dropped out of high school. I bounced around a little, spent a window of around a month sleeping in my car and showering at the gym. Started college after attaining my GED and dropped out college. I’d drop out again another time. At 20, I was drinking more days than not. I was working minimum wage jobs at hotels. I had my first stint in a hospital at 21. I moved seven times in four years. Again never having a job that paid me more than $15 an hour. Never got promoted at a job. Had no idea what I was going to do. At 23 I had my first child. A daughter. Age 25 I had another OCD breakdown. Lost 50lbs, spent twelve days in the hospital. I thought my life was over, that there was absolutely no way I’d ever recover. That I was cursed, maybe broken irrevocably. I spent two years as a stay at home dad. I hit 27, and had no idea what I was going to do. But I started a job at home services company. I had zero experience in the job I was hired for. I was promoted within 30 days. My income doubled in one year. 2 years later I got a dream job. I went from poverty to six figures in one year. Suddenly I could buy a house. I went to Europe. I took my family on a cruise. I had built up strong friendships. I started confronting and dealing with my childhood trauma. I started to evolve as a man. At 29 I had my second daughter. At 31, I went through a divorce. At 33, I was starting over again. Bought another house and moved in with a mattress on the floor and a couch. Beginning with nothing. I started my first real treatment with OCD by finding a specialist. I learned ERP, and more importantly, actually started applying it. Even though I was dealing with this incredible challenging situation, I didn’t rely on bad habits anymore. I didn’t try to find myself in drinking, or another partner, or in anything. I had realized that if I wanted love, to steal someone else’s line, the love had to come from me. I’ll be 34 this year. It’s been in insanely challenging ride. I say none of the above to humble brag, I say it because like you I spent so much time worrying about the future. Truth is, all you can do is make a choice every day to try and put one foot in front of the other and see where that takes you. You can’t predict the future, we’re all really bad at prophecy. Focus on what’s immediately in front of you, and take that on its own terms. Your suffering, like mine, comes from wondering about things you can’t possibly know.

I’m 27 and I’m so so scared my life is always going to be a mess Women my age are being proposed to, getting fancy jobs, having children, going on holiday and I’m having daily breakdowns over how tragic I am. I just want love, stability, no panic or doubts, and to feel like I fit in or I’m useful. I feel NONE of the above I’m losing it seriously I can’t live like this

How are you going to change things. You can’t compare yourself to others and then beat yourself up over it. Read your post 5 times and examine the storyline you’ve written for yourself. What little things can you change that you feel you have control over?

Can you reframe the way you view your current situation? Is it always going to be like this and never change?

Are you creating plans for change. Do you have several backup plans and ideas that you can employ to reach your goals. Change is never easy for anyone, but when you invest time and follow your own plan you create direction.

I think you’ve earned bragging rights! Bravo well done my friend. We’re all on a journey.