uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
My partner is gonna leave me I can feel it. He’s being quiet. I’ll go off the deep end
EmmaaaahhEmmaaaahh
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey girl. Honestly I'm worried about you, only because I experienceD this myself. You are valued, and everyone would care if something happened to you. They have just never been in as much pain as you are and couldn't possibly understand it for that reason. When I went through this, it made me feel like I needed to put myself in the hospital for anyone to take me seriously. This sounds like a combined BPD and OCD flare-up, which can be extremely dangerous. If you feel that way, I honestly would suggest going to the hospital. Show this message to them even, but you do need help hun. Just remember that it is NOT your fault. At the hospital they will be able to refer you to a specialist who can help you deal with these two disorders. I know it feels like no one will ever understand your pain, and the truth is you're the only one I have ever talked to that seems to be going through the exact same thing as I did a few years ago. It has truly been a blessing to talk to you, and I would be devastated if anything happened to you. I know how isolated and hopeless you feel. Those extreme feelings are dangerous and combined with just OCD even (whether or not you have BPD) they validate a trip to either a walk-in or emergency even. Don't feel ashamed for not being able to handle it because I know for a fact not many can. When people learn how much pain you were in all this time and see how brave you were to ask for help, it will all be worth it. Keep me posted on how you're doing <3 what you're feeling is real and you deserve emergency help just as much as anyone else with a serious medical condition!
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
Thankyou SO much for replying I really appreciate it ? I can’t really go to any extreme with hospital visits etc cuz I live unofficially with my boyfriend and I hide this side of myself from him - for fear of abandonment ironically ? I don’t want him to know how insecure and scared I am as I feel it’s off putting and more likely to happen. I won’t do anything dangerous and I’m so happy an internet stranger has shown me any care and understands me, so thank you for that and I care about you too ? I often wonder if I have undiagnosed bpd but everyone here says “it’s just ocd lying to you” but I truly feel fried
EmmaaaahhEmmaaaahh
- Date posted
- 5y
Honestly like I had a really similar experience to you and that's what I was diagnosed with... like I know OCD can make you worry about having certain disorders, but I was pretty confident I had bpd when I was in high school and didn't find out I was right until I was 21 :/
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I resonate with the symptoms, I don’t fear them. People keep misinterpreting me as being obsessed with it or fearing having it like health ocd or something but i don’t fear the illness I think I may actually have it. What I DO fear is people leaving me if I have the diagnoses so I’m just trying to sort it myself secretly ? I bought a DBT workbook I have to collect tomorrow I don’t wanna be branded manipulative, aggressive or violent when I’m literally none of those things. I hate myself I don’t hate other people... people keep saying Caroline flack probably had bpd and I’m in no way shape or form okay with being associated with her lamping her boyfriend, especially when my partner’s ex used to attack him and I think it’s disgusting and it disturbs me immensely
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