I’ve been doing so well the last two days. Then I took a walk and kept having the feeling that I had to go back and “check” things along my walk. I’m frustrated that I gave in to some of those urges because now the anxiety is welling you again. I’m already in the house and have the urge to go “check” something along my route but I’m waiting the feeling out and hoping (knowing) it’ll pass. Any encouragement is appreciated!

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 5y

It’s expected that you’d have some slip ups on your way to recovery. If you started working out again after a long time off, no one would expect you to run a marathon. If you took breaks during your run, you would expect it and not beat yourself up over it. Same thing here. Focus on what you did do, which is get some active exercise while working at changing your response. You did that, so mission accomplished!

Sunrise22

Date posted: 5y

Wow that was a really great and thoughtful reply. I really appreciate it. Apt analogy. After all, if we get down on ourselves for not having a “perfect”, linear recovery, isn’t that just another thing we’re trying to control?

Sunrise22

Date posted: 5y

I also recently realized in a very conscious way how long I’ve been struggling with OCD obsessions and behaviors to hope with the anxiety, and just how insidious it had become without me realizing it. I actually think that OCD - trying to exert control in places I don’t have it by performing anxiety relieving rituals - has been at the core of all the anxiety and depression I’ve experienced for the last 10 years or so. I CERTAINLY cannot expect that after a decade of doing things a certain way that I’m going to be perfect at avoiding responding to exposures. If I’m even avoiding them 50% of the time that’s amazing!!

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 5y

@Sunrise22 Absolutely. It was a revelation for me just how pernicious and all-encompassing my disordered thinking was. Once you recognize it, you have something to work on.

Sunrise22

Date posted: 5y

@CSquared @CSquared So... I did go back and did the compulsion, BUT I waited an hour AND I didn’t do the ritual exactly as the OCD was telling me to, so...a draw?

Sunrise22

Date posted: 5y

@CSquared Yes, I really can’t believe how it’s slowly and secretly crept into almost everything that I do. It’s sneaky

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

Our focus is often drawn to the mistakes we made. Be sure to recognize the times you wanted to check but didn't. My hunch is that even if you checked five or six times, there were at least as many moments where you had the urge to check but chose not to

Sunrise22

Date posted: 5y

Yeah, it’s been tough the last day or two. I feel like I have been doing well considering that hormonal fluctuations this week are making me more anxious. It’s amazing that I’ve been able to avoid any comulsions this week! I just got home and I’m struggling with not doing a compulsion right now. I’m trying to delay and see if the anxiety goes down on its own

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