Let me start this by saying I have been living and identify as transgender since 2016. Up until the last 2 days or so I've been extremely happy and supported by my friends and family on my choice to transition. More recently I have started having doubts regarding my transition. Not thoughts that I'm actually analyzing. Rather, the thoughts are intrusive and causing doubt about my journey and my decision to transition. What's strange is that I had never had these intrusive thoughts up until these last few days and have been living and loving my life as a trans woman. I could barley find any articles on this matter. Is this a form of TOCD? I understand gender OCD. But most of them seem more or less anxious of the idea of them being trans. Mine comes from being trans and feeling doubtful all of a sudden after years of living as female.

As far as I know I don't recall any triggers. And I'm taking estrogen and seeing a professional who prescribes and helps me along my transition. So I have began developing breast which I was genuinely happy about. But now my anxiety is trying to target this.

@TS Is this your first experience with OCD-like symptoms?

@Sunrise22 No. I had experienced OCD symptoms before but they have mostly went away. Now their attacking my security in my gender identity rather than what they affected previously

@TS You got it ?? It sounds like you’ve identified that it’s OCD because you’ve felt similarly in the past about different topics. Have you tried writing an OCD feared situation script? If not, write out your feared scenario (not identifying as female) and read it to yourself over and over or record it and listen to it. Let yourself feel the anxiety. You’ll notice each time you do it you feel less anxious. Do this for a good number of minutes every day. I listen to mine in earbuds for 45 minutes each day while I’m having issues with a recurring intrusive thought

@Sunrise22 My biggest fear about that though is that if I recite that enough I will eventually truly believe that my transition is invalid and that I shouldn't live as a woman although I've always identified with that. I know it helps to confront the fear and definitely did help in the past but in terrified that me saying "I am not transgender, I am what I was born as" I will eventually believe that

@TS That’s OCD trying to play another trick on you. You’re no more likely to start identifying as male than someone with harm OCD is to stab someone or someone with pedophilia OCD is going to rape a child. I know it feels scary but exposing yourself to what scares you is the only way to take away its power

@TS @TS Remember that OCD attacks what’s more precious to us and causes obsessions about what we fear MOST. Because you’re worried about questioning your transition, this means that the transition itself is very meaningful for you. I’d recommend seeing a therapist that is versed in OCD and ideally gender issues, if you can.

@Sunrise22 I just need to know that me trying to "cure" my OCD by feeding into it wont change who I am fundamentally. I dont want to lose myself behind trying to accept these thoughts

Cool! Definitely bring up these thoughts if you’re comfortable doing so. Your counselor should be very helpful in working through them.