Just curious if this might be OCD: every day, probably 200 times a day, I have thoughts pop in my head of embarrassing things I’ve said, written, or done. Then, in response I either scrunch up my face, dig my fingernails into my palms, or think, “I’m going to kill myself” (don’t mean it). It happens automatically. I’m diagnosed with OCD already but curious if I should look into this being OCD or maybe social anxiety??

I’ve never told anyone about my obsessive thoughts, I get random irrational obsessive thoughts that play over and over almost like a broken record like: “killing myself would be fun” or “‘maybe you should just kill yourself” I have absolutely NO suicidal ideation whatsoever, it’s just this empty thought that replays over and over, it feels like my mind is torturing me. Like it’s doing this on its own. There’s sometimes I’ve mentally screamed STOP!! Because I just wanted the broken record or my obsessive thinking to end. I’ve never been officially diagnosed so I’m not sure if I do have OCD but I’ve lived with these obsessive symptoms my whole life. I also always think I made a mistake, so I do things over and over and over again, always double checking.

Hi idk how to start this but Im a 16 year old dude any My therapist says I have PTSD, Panic Disorder and maybe ADHD. Im pretty sure Im autistic, same with my mom and brother and many other family members. for years now ive had my friends telling me to get checked for OCD and im starting to think they might be right. anyways, for one thing, I get like really bad intrusive thoughts. Its really hard for me to be around kids, I cant stop thinking about horrible things happening wether its me messing up and hurting them or me hurting them on purpose, usually sexually. I have always been overly concered with seeming creepy in romantic relationships. Ive only dated one person younger than me EVER and its one of my current partners (polyamory) and shes a day younger than me and even that makes me feel like a creep whos taking Advantage of her, I cry if I sit with my partners while they sleep and im awake becaude im scared im going to hurt them, I wont Initiate intimate acts at all because If I do I will cry because it cant not feel like rape to me if I initate. Numbers. Holy shit the numbers. I count my steps, I count how many times I adjust my hair, I count how many food items im eating, everything. and If I dont I feel like Ive done it wrong somehow. I have to press the crosswalk the right amount of times or i feel like ill get hit, I have to wash my hands using the right amount of steps and repeating them the right amount of times or Ill get sick and Ill throw up (I have ptsd from a major sickness when I was a kid, and my triggers are almost all related to throwing up). I dont know if theyre intrusive thoughts, but I also get intense images or thoughts that are so intense I think they are real, of me hurting myself, hurting others, throwing up, other throwing up. I think it is worth mentioning that I have HPPD, and some pretty intense Halluzinations from past psycedellic and delirent drug use. My have bad memory from using but even before then Ive always thought that maybe Im not remembering right and I freak out about it and ask family if im tripping myself out or i remember it right. Idk theres definately more to this that i dont feel like typing, I just want to know if Im tripping myself out or its actually OCD, I want to know before I being it to my parents or my therapist. Help!

One thing that I’ve noticed about my OCD is that it makes me feel very regretful and embarrassed at the end of every day. I reflect on every interaction and every conversation and any thought that I’ve had throughout the day. As a result, I feel more and more ashamed of the way that I act, even though it is probably normal for some of my age to act and see the things that I say. Earlier today I flirted with a guy and then as soon as it ended I had so much religious and moral guilt about it. Does anyone have any advice on how to not feel so ashamed after doing the typical activities that people in their 20s do? I feel like these thoughts are making me want to isolate from everyone else so that I’m not put in the position to do and say these things. I feel comfortable with myself when I don’t talk to anybody but I’m noticing that that can’t be normal . I don’t want to lose friendships and potential relationships out of fear that I’m going to say something wrong. I don’t know what to do.