Feeling like a horrible person. I feel so bad about my existence right now. I just want someone to comfort me. Anyone online?

I feel you, on the whole lot. Cancel culture, past mistakes etc. I have actually always assumed that people would be as unforgiving of my mistakes as the worst of cancel culture is, and for a long time that kept me from giving myself any compassion about what past and fears led to my mistakes or them being spur of the moment or even pressured. I just judged myself as harshly as possible because it's hard to feel like I deserve kindness that I dont think other people would give me. It's important to open up about things which make us feel like this. I've had periods of exaggerating my own mistakes wildly out of guilt feelings which are far bigger than was every appropriate. Let me tell you, that's a REAL way to get a negative reputation. But I wanted to be seen the way I felt and confession makes me feel clean even when it isn't accurate. Bad path to go down. So anyway. I've been where you are. I still go there periodically. I often fall into the pattern of assuming the world would think the worst of me. But the truth is even though it's scary and exhausting, I have to be the one to advocate for myself. I try to be accountable as much as I emotionally can and push myself to be brave and trust others with my mistakes. And that has been a very positive experience, because when you say sorry for things or admit mistakes without overblowing your own guilt or blaming other people or pressuring the person for forgiveness, people respond extremely positively. Mistakes don't mean that the rest of your life is made up of mistakes, and often stuff we feel is huge is pretty insignificant to others- they can understand why you did it, and then they move on. I know that's difficult to believe when your mistakes feel or are taboo. But it's true. I have spent almost a decade not being able to get over a dramatic situation that happened because I made minor mistakes in it and I felt like I deserved all the blame for every aspect, even when it didn't make rational sense. It was my perfectionism about my mistakes and my self judgement for past ones, telling me I don't deserve to take my part of the blame but *nothing more*. In that decade, the world and anyone involved has well and truly moved on, nobody has accosted and attacked me about it, nobody even seems to blame me as much as I have basically told them that they should. The mental world I've been living in is not realistic, and I've missed out on real life in the meantime. Talk to a therapist about all of it. They're there to help, not to judge you, and they can suggest perspectives you have never considered.

You bet! What's bothering you? But I cant comfort you because that's against the rules.

Here for you ❤