Is there anyone here diagnosed with ocd and bpd that can talk?

Could be, wrong meds can make you deteriorate. Thank you for replying by the way. I wanted to know if anyone had any experience with Alexithymia within bpd or with emotional impulsivity in particular. I'm not 18 so I'm still suspected because I've been in therapy for less than a year but I've had the symptoms since I was younger so my therapist is looking at this now

@notfortalk2 Yes that was definitely my experience. It's interesting that you should mention that because I was in therapy yesterday and apparently I'm struggling with alexithymia too. I have emotions, but I unfortunately learned to repress most of them in a long-term abusive relationship. It's really frustrating. I was told by my psychiatrist that the best therapy for bpd is dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT). I know it can be difficult to tell what's going on, especially if you have strong emotions that hit seemingly out of nowhere. I was given a lot of tools by my therapist to try and identify emotions which I could share with you somehow (like through email or a social media network)! She also said that meditation is reeeeeally helpful for this. Honestly I have been in therapy for less than a year as well, so I'm still trying to "unlock" my emotions. The ones I know I can identify are guilt and love, as they were really the only feelings that were positively reinforced in that relationship, and it was my first relationship and I was 15. If you ever need someone to talk to about how you're feeling let me know! I'm happy to chat anytime

@Emmaaaahh Yeah I feel like I usually repress my emotions but then all of the sudden I explode. And most of the times I don't even know where these emotions come from and I can't recognize them either. We've been analyzing the aspects of my personality which fit a borderline diagnosis which are unstable and inappropriate emotions, emotional impulsivity, hard time processing emotion, putting people on a pedestal and then cut them off( well this is kind of a cycle, I go from loving them to hating them and then all over again), I struggle with anger a lot, paranoic, I'm very impulsive, constantly suppressing my feelings (been told this is qbpd), unstable moods and unstable relationships. I sometimes act out but most times I tend to act in because when I act out I feel extremely guilty afterwards and also I fear abandonment and intimacy but not necessarily with friends but into a relationship. I too have a hard time recognizing emotions, I can recognize anger, guilt and jealousy and well of course anxiety and dread. I'm so sorry you had to go through this so young, I wish you the best through therapy. Mental illnesses are hard but not impossible

@notfortalk2 My therapist recommended that I watch the disney movie inside-out, and not gonna lie it hit real hard but it had great messages about emotional processing. When I act out I end up compulsively apologizing because I feel so bad but then the apology doesn't even seem genuine... So then I act angrily towards myself... sometimes I wonder if you can significantly abuse yourself, because I feel like my mind has been doing that since I was young and i haven't really understood it was ocd until now... it can be a real struggle trying to understand your emotions. I guess I can recognize anxiety but like I get it confused with other things, and am not even really sure what I'm feeling most times cuz my brain is automatically just like nooooope :(

@Emmaaaahh Yeah that's exactly what I do. Sometimes when I have a panic attack I can recognise it but it feels like a panic attack without the panic. Obviously I feel dread and fear but then it's like I dissociate and I'm able to go through without feeling panicky and only afterwards I recognize the anxiety