Feeling so low right now. If only was a switch to turn my brain off! Coming up to swim. Week isolated and trying to work my feelings out and still no closer! My partner been so patient as I can’t even see it speak to him, but I just don’t know how I feel! About anything! No answers have come from my time alone, another counselling session tomorrow, if only they could climb in your head physically and extract all the negative and constant worry and fear and am I doing the right thing? What if am not! What if I was but now regret it! Hell I can’t even choose something to wear as it’s to tough a decision! Stay in pjs or throw first thing handy to out daughter in school! No pride in my appearance at mo! Usually made up etc but don’t even know where my make up is it’s been so long! I feel so alone and unable to process and talk! Smiling for the children is draining! But necessary! This time of night is the worst! Xxx how is everybody else doing? Xx

Keep up the great work! Make a new post about it, you seem like you're making good progress there

How can we help make your life more positive?

That’s meant to say six weeks not swim week

Just knowing that you have taken the time to read and care is lovely! Thankyou! Some times just takes someone to say yeah! I get you! Xx other than that I don’t know how to start! Xx

I think we’ve all been exactly where you are right now. OCD can be so Isolating, huh? It sounds like you’re in therapy, which is great. Is it OCD-related therapy, or just talk therapy? I’m sure your children appreciate you smiling and keeping a brave face on for them, but don’t think you have to keep that up. My mom went through some pretty dark depression when I was a kid. I like to think I would have been open to her saying, “Mom’s not doing so good today, kiddo. Can I get a hug?”

At night it is the worst for me because I’m relaxing and my brain thus has time to race and race and race and thought start piling up. It gets tiring to say the least. Try to stay strong. I know it’s hard. I’m actually having a very bad morning myself but am trying to get thru it. It’s an every day battle but trying to remain positive and going to therapy is so helpful. I look forward to therapy actually. Good luck!

How did the rest of the day go for you yesterday? I know how you feel. I’m sure many of us in the group know how you feel

Thanks everyone! And yesterday was tiring! Today was tiring, I tried reaching out to few people but they were busy! Then I had a mm ocd feeling that this being an open group and what if my partner is secretly on it and reading my posts or whatever! Things I can’t share with him! I know it’s insane but that how I over analyse stuff! Kids at their dads so just me, just sat in silence for a king while contemplating things! Tried to explain to my partner a little in the respect of I don’t know when I will feel better and can see him, he asks which is sweet but I take it as pressure and found myself telling him that I have so much going on, even if I snap out of it we still might not be ok as am dealing with relationship issues too! I just felt I had to be honest but was like he can’t process it and I’ll get better and we will be happy again! House is very quiet and with all recent burglaries in my area I feel a little anxious! So checking more! Decided to take up exercise ?? been eating pretty good and I hope it will give me a distraction! How is everyone today!! Thanks for your responses and for caring xxxx

That’s great you are exercising and eating healthier! I’m doing ok today.. been a tiring day but settling down now. You should post more in new threads too, you seem to have a lot of OCD information and knowledge!

Thankyou.. I have studied quite a bit on it in my need to understand more.. psychiatrist even said am very well informed, although sometimes knowing the logic behind something doesn’t make it any easier to battle but just understand what’s happening to you! If I can help others I will! Also done panic course to understand and help with that so guess could help with techniques for people to help with that! Ended my relationship today... after much deliberation, it does not feel Good now but for the best in future! Sad times but a decision none the less! Now to try move forward! Hurting someone’s feelings is not in my nature so I feel pretty crumby! But better now that further down the line! Just hope I keep the faith in the decision I took so long to reach and the pesky repetitive demons keep away for now! How are you?! Xxx