For almost a year I’ve had terrible SO-OCD and gone through brutal stretches of fearing I’m gay or bi. But now I’m fearing I’m asexual.. is this possible for so-ocd? As a kid my fantasies didn’t involve a ton of sex but they did later on. I remember long ago around when I had just learned what sex was I asked my mom, “why do people even have sex?” And she said something like “at a certain age people think it’s fun.” I remember being confused and not understanding why that would be fun. I definitely want to have sex with girls nowadays (although now it’s impossible to tell of course) and the fact I’m still a virgin makes me depressed. But my biggest piece of “evidence” is that I never got into porn like every other male my age (18) and I think society would be better without that culture. I watch it sometimes, rarely, but I just don’t love it like everyone else. Seeing other people’s genitals (particularly the dicks) up close kind of grossed me out. It also makes me feel bad about my own because mine isn’t 2 feet long like those. I also think vaginas up close look a little gross..? Does this all mean I’m not straight and my whole life has been a lie? I’m really scared because this feels a bit different that HOCD but I notice some of the same thought processes as in the HOCD. So my question is: does the fact that I don’t love porn make me asexual, and can SO-OCD extend to asexuality? Additionally I’ve been pretty depressed and exhausted for a long time and I just never have the energy to masturbate anymore. But I remember it was great back when I did! Someone help!!!

I’ve worried about this before too! Although it didn’t last very long. It definitely sounds like OCD. Anything can be OCD, you’re not alone

Some people just aren’t overly sexual and that’s perfectly fine. You sound like you have a pure soul. I’m going through something similar as far as being exhausted and depressed, and it’s taken a major toll on my sex drive which sucks since I’m in a relationship. AND by the way, everybody’s private parts DO look kinda gross up close, that’s a fact ?

Society wants boys to think that if they aren’t trying to have sex 24:7 then something is wrong and that’s not the case. I wouldn’t label yourself so soon. There’s a good chance you’ll love sex when it happens. Or maybe you will just think it’s kinda fun. Maybe it will just depend on your mood or depend on the person. I’m not asexual and I feel nearly the exact same way as you. Tons of things contribute to a person’s sex drive, maybe porn doesn’t get you going, but maybe actually laying in bed with a girl does. You said yourself you know you like girls! Don’t let your ocd bully you!

Keep in mind having hocd can greatly lower your sex drive. Also idk if this helps but all my friends that are girls think porn is gross and doesn’t turn them on

Relieving to finally see someone has gone through the same, forums I’ve validation-sought from have not had anyone like me! The funny thing is before this stage, mostly during the previous ‘bi’ stage, I always ruled out asexuality right away.

So does that make me asexual you think, gray-a or something, or just low sex drive? I really don’t want to not be straight it really freaks me out...

Thanks, that helps a lot. I just don’t get why I’m not on the porn bandwagon like everyone else you know? That feeds my ocd because clearly somethings different...

I wouldn’t even worry about that! Porn is not for everybody. I know plenty of straight guys that aren’t fans of porn. Sex is so weird, everybody’s likes and dislikes are different. Different doesn’t mean wrong, different can even mean better.

Also all the forums online that I identified with so much back before this ‘ace’ stage mention nothing about fearing asexuality! So this worries me a ton. To clarify I’ve always liked girls but I’m worried maybe it’s just romantic attraction and not sexual...