- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Dear laurashep, life is about making decisions and that’s ok. Because that’s the way we build what we want for ourselves. Sometimes there’re bad decisions (for example, stealing something). But lately I’ve been thinking there’s no good or bad decisions. During many years I thought I had to choose something and that choice had to equal some destiny’s choice. As if there was a destiny and life was about finding out what that destiny was. In that context every decision is stressful, because what if that decision keeps you far away from your “destiny”. But now I think there’s no such a thing. It’s your life, not the destiny’s life. I must think about what I want today, what I deeply want today and make a decision accordingly. If I make a mistake, I can fix it later. We’re learning. We’re all learning. Just don’t harm you or harm others: I believe that’s the only rule.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I find it so hard to make decisions :(
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@leandrito wow thank you so much! Funny, that’s exactly how I feel. Like I don’t know what decision is right for my destiny. I agonize so much over making the “right” choice, afraid that I’m going to mess up a path I’m “supposed” to be on. I am trying to embrace that there is no such thing, but it is so hard. It is so nice to know other people are experiencing the same thing. Thank you for your encouraging words. You’re right, we’re all learning!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
My therapists taught me that finding it hard to make decisions is part of OCD!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes it really makes it so so hard!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 12w ago
I don’t have much of a support system outside of my bf, so I find myself here a lot. I think I just need to vent, so forgive me if I do this too often. It helps to have a community of people who truly understand. I haven’t felt this debilitated by mental illness in months. There has to be some explanation, maybe it’s hormonal, because I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. The panic hits in waves, sudden and overwhelming, like my head is submerged in lava, burning and suffocating. Then, for a brief moment, I feel almost normal and wonder what all the fear was about. But it never lasts. The chaos always comes back. I even considered going to the ER because I’m not sure I can trust myself anymore. Something has to be wrong, because this isn’t me. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s not unbearable either. Since I withdrew from school, I’ve been so much less stressed that even my cycle, which has been irregular for years, has somehow regulated itself. But even with that, I feel like a failure. I was one semester away from finishing, so close, but OCD hit me harder than it ever has. It felt like drowning, gasping for air, reaching for something solid, only to be dragged under again and again. Now, I feel like that again, but worse. I feel hollow, like something is wrong with me at my core. I don’t just feel sad; I feel broken. I break down into uncontrollable sobs every few hours, and I don’t even know why. I just know that whatever is happening, OCD is taking full advantage of how vulnerable I feel. Is this what MDD feels like? Everyone tells me I have it, and it’s been confirmed by my psych, my pcp, and my therapist, but I still can’t seem to fully see it. I don’t know how to separate what’s OCD from what might be another disorder. I’m sorry to anyone also going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you 🤍
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- Date posted
- 11w ago
TW I’m feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. I’ve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because I’m bombarded with my thoughts. I’ve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and I’m worried that this is just how it’s going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. I’m worried there’s going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me
- Date posted
- 9w ago
I can’t stop crying. My thoughts are going insane, they’re so fast I can’t keep up. I want to tell everyone around me what’s happening (my family doesn’t even know about my OCD). I can’t seem to resist compulsions today. I’m freaking out. I want to give up. I feel like I’m suffocating in whatever is going on. I feel like I need to go to a hospital. I don’t know how to ask for help. I don’t feel okay. I don’t understand this at all. It feels like I took some random drug. I’m really scared I’m sorry, I am so panicked. It’s embarrassing but I feel so desperate for help right now I feel crazy
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